zbaf in words

moved!

2007-04-09T06:52:00.000+08:00

moved, an extremely long time ago.

zbaf.livejournal.com

IM BACK!!!

2006-12-06T13:14:00.000+08:00

okay, so i havent blogged in ages, but as i always say, its never to late to make up for what you did/not do.

anyway, life's been a pretty busy lately, what with shuttling between work,band practices, and meeting sarah. i havent met my friends as i have promised yet - so much for all the talk about "i end my exams on the 23rd!lets meet up after that!". someone slap me please (okay cam, i know you will,haha) - but i will, promise, as soon my my schedule lightens up (:

but in any case, just the other day my mom was laughing at me, cause i woke up late for work and literally ran out of the house without showering or waxing my hair,when on normal school days if i wake up late, i just take my time and go to school around 9/10 instead (looking and smelling normal), or go back to sleep and skip school altogether.haha.

but seriously, im feeling so much more tired now than i was taking the exams, and that's just wrong for all the right reasons. i mean, post-Alevels means relaxing and hanging out with friends and sleeping late and slacking around. yet i wake up at 4am so i can start work at 530 in the airport if i work the first shift. dude, i need a new job, NOW.haha.

in any case though, as long as the money rolls in, i guess i just gotta suck it alll up and work my ass off cause i need that money badly.period. so to all my friends, im sorry i havent had time, but i only enlist in april,so there's alot of fabian to go around yeah? dont worry (: and sarah, i'll find time,even if its 2-3 hours a day or if im dead tired (:

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anyway prom yesterday was a rather huge letdown,cause the food was nothing like the ethereal standard boasted of when publicity for prom started some months back. the emcee was a disaster in himself,unable to fill gaps and letting hype and energy die within seconds,so in the end no one bothered about what was happening on stage anymore and just went about their own business = cam-whoring.haha.

of course, there was also a share of those who, in their attempt to look pretty, came looking worse than when they were donning school uniform without make up. hello? blue eyeshadow with lurid pink blusher are the makings of RUHUA,not prom queen.

worse still, some opted for the smoky eye effect, which OBVIOUSLY went awry. i think the make up artist punched you in the eyes for being too ugly.haha, cause some really did look ugly. and some dresses.aiyo. i thought they were meant to flatter a woman's body,not accentuate the lack thereof,fashion police,mj needs you!

then again,there were people who came looking gorgeous and fab,glitzy glamour and all. seriously,it was like seeing your plain-jane schoolmates and i-dont-care-how-i-look guy-next-doors undergo a metamorphosis from geek to sleek.and well, the photos will speak for themselves (: of course, my girlfriend looked the best in her rust-coloured satin gown(: so wait and see!

basically that was the highlight of noche arc en ciel - the phototaking and fashion commentary - cause really the rest of the night was really just a disappointment. the food was lousy, some hai tien lo somemore. gah,i get better food at newton and chomp chomp la please. and a freaking 95bucks? really, every dish that comes out just screams

RIP-OFF! RIP-OFF!

AND YOU"RE THE SUCKER WHO PAID 95BUCKS FOR IT! HAHAHA!

but i thought my performance didnt go too bad,so that's one plus point for me (except for the beginning,i was really nervous can.i think mus was too.haha!) but all in all,whats happened happened so i'll just cherish the memories of my college prom,even if its for all the wrong reasons.

alright i've babbled enough, shall upload the photos when i come back from japan next week! (im leaving tonight(: ) bye!

ERROR ON PAGE

2006-10-05T00:08:00.000+08:00

something screwed up my blog so that when yu click an icon on the side the page doesnt turn.

instead yu see an ERROR ON PAGE at the bottom

well, just refresh and click again alright?it'll work the second time :D

sorry for the trouble in the meantime, as i try, with what pathetic prowress i have regarding IT-ish things, whats wrong with this blog of mine.

i cant wait for the A's to end.math is killing me!!!!!

PHOTO THERAPHY!!!

2006-10-04T02:50:00.000+08:00

okay the last post was quite personal, so i decided to share some laughs with all of yu!

with the school giving out this massload of unwanted EXPLOSION magazines to all of us, which only called out desperately to be used in some other way since no one was reading it, and as they were chucked rather unceremoniously all over the classroom.

so i decided that it was an opportunity to make use my creative talents, to see what kinda aesthetic art i could come up with, whilst killing time during my break.

the end result was, well, see for yurself!haha..

so with this magazine as my template, many varying degrees of form and fugliness arose.

this was inspired by zhu pa jie!

hahaha! i was laughing so hard when i saw the end result!

next was a glamour shot, features enhanced and all.

chio? *barfs*

there's a beauty mole along with big eyes, snufflepagus-esque lashes,thick full lips and a more defined nose!

erm.. not my kind though :P

then there's this disgusting bitchshit here.i dont know what its supposed to be.. just an aggregation of grossness? yu decide.

well since twohill's a freak, he so deserves to be here!haha. this one by ryu, btw :D

lizard man/woman! huikoon will likeit alot right!

and lastly the not-so-jovial clown.

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thing is yu see, once yu start drawing yu cant stop, so the today paper was whipped out and more people got disfigured! i cant help it, its so amusing to see these people ugly!!!

here're some samples!

here's andy pudgy-bitch lau for yu!

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and seung ho-li(product designer for samsung) morphed into new skin.

so hip right? not half as boring as his before look,heh

]

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a feature on carrie chong then caught my eye and i tried to give her the denise keller look!

marvel at how celebrities can look ugly!haha!

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and last of all..

an innocent OTO adverton massage chairs turned gruesome!

pardon the organs.

i was just tryna add some difference to this compared to the other works.hahaha..

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and a parting shot that ties in with the whole A level mood - EINSTEIN!

before at 65.

after looking 20 years younger. the wonders of plastic surgery..haha

alright thats all for now, other pictures another time! :D

relationships

2006-10-04T01:23:00.000+08:00

of late i've taken to thoughts that are pretty much confined to myself (and a personal journal)

and these reflections and soul-searching was pretty much sparked off by the couples all around me, including the less-than-cheery breakups :(

to begin, one couple just celebrated their 3rd year together, and being close to one of them (and having hung out with them just days before their anniversary), i was completely jealous seeing how they treated each other so sweetly.

the little whispers in the ear
the snug,reassuring hand-holding
the comforting cuddles and
the quiet yet heartwarming gazes

i know thats just on the surface and that with every relationship comes its fair shares of ups and downs. but 3years is a long time, and the fact that things can still be saccharine as is is truly worth envy.

and i was.hell yes i was so envious.

another pair*, this time both i can say im rather close to, just had their first month pass a couple days ago.and it reminded me so much of how things were many months back -- romantic,fervent,felicitious.

i was looking at their neoprints and i felt so happy for them, yet at the same time, i questioned if i was looking at missing puzzle pieces of my own relationship? (not literally the pictures,of course.we take So many photos!)

he* said to me just now when we were msging online,that he "want[ed] ___ and i to remain romantically attached."

that line struck a chord. that was what i wanted and somewhere along the way things didnt really work out as i envisioned.

i think through the months i lost sight of what i really wanted in a relationship, how to work for it, and to keep it hunky dory like i wanted it to be.

dont get me wrong, i still do love yu.but somehow things have changed.its like we're an old couple who've forgotten how to appreciate one another.

to be patient, to give in, and tolerate.
to understand,reassure, and sacrifice.
to love and be loved in return.

i think we forgot all that,given how things have been.

our actions have been so grossly incongruous with what both of us were seeking, yet ironically we were wondering why things turned out the way it did.

but that all said, im not losing the hope that we can turn that around and make better the status quo, but given this trying period with 29days to the A's its gonna be tough, yet defintely possible.this time im sure :D

i want things to work, cus thats what we wanted in the first place wasnt it? here's towards the 18th okay honey? :D n im sorry for the things i've done, i do love yu so, which is why this entry even exists. love yu so much dear *hug*

and to the two couples, whom i know read this blog..

yu guys inspire me, and just by loving yur partner the way yu do tells me there's hope and that there's always a rainbow after the rain :D thanks!

DAMNIT

2006-09-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

what's screwed up is that i cant find my freaking passport in my own fucking home.

and now i cant register for the japan trip cus i cant get my documents in order for the administrative end to clear.wth.

damnit i hate my life and screw yu.

update on muzzie's birthday

2006-09-21T12:39:00.000+08:00

dinner at bugis then pool :D simple fare with LOADS of fun.

hope yu had a happy birthday mus!:D

thats the end of the picturelogue! :D

and those who end earlier than me for prelims, which is EVERYONE, yay! yu can start studying for yur Alevels one to two days more than me! (quote:justin) hahaha!

ishiki no nagare

2006-09-20T14:43:00.000+08:00

some people just need to get creative dont yu think?

when i saw pseudonyms like zbag zoif znam, i laughed.haha. i didnt know i was some trendsetter!yay! *egoboost*

******************************************************

anyway jun makes the most fanfuckingtastic truffles.haha, yijun the pattisier(i learnt this word from jin ssanshun,haha!)doesnt disappoint once again!

with a chunky ball of orgasmic chocolate centre cased within a crispy (i think its puffed rice?) shell thats so subtly salted. its so insanely good yu'll have to ask jun to make some for yu too! now those truffles are really the keys to a woman!haha.

******************************************************************************

anyway i miss my saxtion so SO much, both the seniors and juniors. havent played in a band since like, joie de vivre II and god i miss playing the sax so much!

so here's a quick shoutout!

to the nsfs: lets see if sunday we can meet alrighty!the old man's birthday is coming and we havent met in a long time too(not since armstrong's concert).thanks for the plan, tim!

to the giafsncting hippo: lalala.im handing my form in tmr, i guess like what yu said this will be the only chance i have of home-staying,seeing fuku again!haha.nagoya!

to jun: one more gothic paper and yu're free!and since yu end prelims a day earlier than me,make me more truffles!haha

to slowphone: we shall go study at the airport together sometime,since we're always there but never studying together.haha. and i looked thru the old photos like yu asked and NO!yu're still the same, dont worry *hint :P

to SOME SILLY COCONUT ala armstrong: yes yu are a silly coconut for smiling like an idiot to yurself mid-lecture.anyway, 137 is falot of money for dietary supplements from cold storage. yu're one mad cat budak.haha

to chrissypoo: aiyo wanna meet up also never meet up for so long. hope things are going great in uni,with mr clinique-happy ndu guy and with the rest!and thanks for the concern :D

to the jen*,xXx,jkong,ling,isa&cliff:please study hard for promos and we'll meet up to go jalan after that,as jen* suggested okay?dinner at drive6 on fridays again!haha

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and yu know what? i revised my gothic lit yesterday and woke up early this morning to read some more lit.

and after trudging to school at 730 when i totally forgot there wasnt morning assembly at 735, today jo told me that IT IS NOT GOTHIC PAPER TODAY, its paper8 instead!

haha like wth la ghreuiogairiek i lugged 5novels in my bag okay?

but luckily paper 8 is unseen,so it wasnt that bad :P

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thanks emsie for the msg :D what yu said made sense, and whatever it is, no one should blame anyone else yeah? smiles.

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n it was zhengyi's birthday last friday,along with yosua's so here's to a BIG 18th righteous! hope yu liked the surprise :D

and here's the birthday kiss pok had to give him! c'mon la cranberrae dont act shy okay? we all know yu do more than just kiss him when yu think no one's looking,haha.

see how zhengyi nods(in approval) after he gets a kiss and how his gf runs away after that?haha, its so cute.

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last of all, its muslim's birthday today so HAPPY 19th dude.

thanks for everything the past yearhalf, it wouldnt have been the same without yu as our beacon president.haha.

by the time yu see this yu'd be smiling at the surprise planned already so best wishes alright bro? takecare and have a fucking whacked out time :D

here're last year's birthday pics. the sc shot, and the one in the toilet, with sanitary pads as peace offerings.haha

"nothing comes out of nothing"

2006-09-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

it left me pondering about my own issues today...

edit:

things happen for a reason, or do they happen because of a reason?

ever felt like yu were stuck at a crossroad and yu dont know which way yu should go, or what yu should do?

i think right now i prefer just standing right where i am and not take any path or make any decision.although things arent great, i'd keep to the status quo and let things run its course.

things happened because of a reason, whether they happen for a reason,time will tell.

an epiphany dawned,as i was listening to the songs in my playlist.

i realise yu cant run away from yur emotions,and as of late,these feelings have been returning incessantly. but i wont do anything about it.i cant.

i need chocolates now.damn those fucking chocolates

read this, cus i TRULY AM SORRY

2006-09-19T00:40:00.000+08:00

i know i shouldnt have faltered, or doubted yu in any sense.

and though id continue to try explaining, the anger seem to have shut my words off from yur ears. it was a misunderstanding, and in that moment,i know i crossed the line. sorry.

honey i never meant to hurt yu, or not trust yu, when all i ever wanted out of a relationship was trust.

and i dont wanna take sides, cus yu mean the world to me, yet they're an important part of my life as well.

aye.

im sorry.

happy 11th month, dear.

tagreplies

2006-09-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

yes =), i do(used to) reply on my tagboard. but its just that im too lazy to reply one by one and take up tagspace.

but anyway, i'll reply all the tags i can see on my tagboard now!

stef, cAm, min:
:D:D:D:D:D
yu know how i feel, i dont have to wordilize it.haha

willie:
haha,yes i know its so nice right? *acts coy*
and thanks for the luck man, i SO need it.
teach me jap after my A's alright?can supplement the classes i'll sign up for (: and i'll have yet another person to practice jap with!haha ki o tsukete!

________:
i always found it amazing how a person can have feelings for someone over sucha a long period of time, especially at this age. 3years have been a long time, im flattered (:
but do feel better and hope yu meet yur true love soon okay?take care.

ziqing:
yeah miss having yu around too little junior! endyear exams coming soon so study hard okay?we will meet up soon, as promised donno how many mths ago but still havent fulfilled it.haha. takecare in the meantime! :D

cAm:
again what?? and haha, friday's coming man sister! exciting anot?heh

jun:
i dont believe i've seen yur ic,but i have seen yur ugly ezlink card!haha.show me the next time round in sch okay? and not too late what, alot of people only started watching when channel u screened it recently too! :P

azlyn:
thanks! i know i look like a convict, but at least i dont look like the fat FUGLY ball of lard i was in p6 in my oooold ezlinkcard. this is already ALOT better.
i dont know abt yu, but i cant take proper passport photos :( haha

james:
haha OF COURSE i'll go back for band after my A's.i still go back to siglap and maha bodhi for band also la can.haha.
study hard for yur promos and takecare junior!

i've got a crush:
thanks :D its always nice to hear compliments isnt it?heh
good luck for yur exams too (:

andrea:
sure no prob! n i've already booked 27th november tentatively cus thát'll be the first time im seeing yu in ages again! :D
anyway hope everythings going great in aussie and good luck for yur pregnancy assesment thingy this week!

feli:
thanks alot fel! meet up soon alright? (: maybe during raya when the rest goes visiting? but till then, takecare!

kang:
dont be too happy yet, if matilda could've been kicked out so early, hady might not be singapore idol also.
but choy! choy! i'll be voting and lets hope he does siglap proud! (: keep voting too!

chin:
yeah RUB IT IN somemore ambrose!hahahaha. i find that name so funny!sorry :P
and thanks for the luck!study hard too! n will meet up with the whole clique after my prelims alright?promise :D

ryu:
what's lerskates? and good luck for the rest of prelims dude! gambette!

layhoon:
girl ah i changed it a long time ago, yet yu still can rmb how ugly i looked.sigh...
if i could erase ALL the pictures from my past i would!esp the p school years!:P
n study hard now, O's coming already! jiayou!

jen*:
thanks for the luck! and yeah will go jalan as saxtion after prelims k?maybe sooks the hibernating hippo will finally step out to be human again and enjoy human company, not books.
but after yur promos la alright? 2 weeks more, chiong like mad! :D

Kat:
thanks kat!yeah will meet up after tt alright? hope yu're doing fine and takecare of yurself too!

Aaron:
dont fret, just ignore the spammers alright?
anyway, sounds like yu're having fun in poly,maybe its a good thing yu didnt stya in mj.haha.
and i'll make mu organise a sargas outing after promos and A's. takecare!

alright, back to bio memory and regurgitation.
4days more to the end of prelims. study!

=flamers

2006-09-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

some people just dont have the guts to to take responsibilty of what they do no?

if yu're gonna flame a blog, why dont yu leave a name? really, when yu're hurling baseless insults and accusations at another person without an identity yu're really just exemplifying what coward and hypocrite means.

whats worse is if the flamer himself hates flamers on his own blog, and yet is doing the same thing he detests. tsk. stooping so low?

so going by what i always do, just ignore flamers. if they've got no one responding they'd lose interest in spamming after awhile. and if they dont relent?the numerous insults would all point back to show what a fucking stupid fool he's making out of himself. haha.

anyway, to those who've been spammed?just laugh and really, no point letting these stupid tags annoy yu =)

2006-09-14T18:43:00.000+08:00

the funny thing about math is how it can make me feel a whole spectrum of emotions. anxiety, then total delirium =)

last night i didnt sleep well cus i was feeling this ridiculous nervous attack i dont usually feel for math papers. and when i finally did get a peace of mind and catch some sleep, i had this horrible horrible dream..

i woke up at 3pm -completely missing my morning lit paper (ahh!!)- an hour after math paper started!! fuck of course i panicked n when i finally got to school i saw like, 2 rows of tables in front of the flagpoles taking the exams, for all the latecomers!haha

and i head to outside the general office where the security guards sit, which had canteen tables arranged in rows for other students. and i saw the people in my "special math class" sitting there attempting the paper already.

(a little context here: because math students like me are pathetically lousy in arithmetic and are probablytailored for greater things than numbers, the math dept in mj has this special class in the container classrooms for tutors to teach us math-made-easy while the rest of the 700plus students are having lectures in the LTs.cool eh?haha)

ah how weird can dreams get? very, im thinking, judging by the one i just had last night.heh.

anyway i didnt miss my paper, n lit was horrible today, i didnt study (sorry ms k!).. but that doesnt matter cus im too overwhelmed by the math paper! for the first time in 2 years, i actually think i have a shot of breaking past the single digit boundary!!!hahaha! yu know what the fuck that means? it means there's hope for me!haha

since i stepped into mj i havent passed a single freaking math test! and im always hovering below the 10-digit mark! i got 3 for midyears last year, 5 for block tests in march n 6.5 for midyears 2mths ago.and when i finally could pass a math test this year my phone had to ring in lecture, and tadaa!ZERO!haha.

but im quite positive today's paper will change all that =) so for all those out there who hate math as much as me (im sure there are falot), dont fret. miracles do happen =)

on a totally different tangent, ryu was making me laugh so hard just now when he sent me these little voice clips that are so terribly amusing. its like, he records his voice and sends it over, and i click play i hear him say "hi fabian tan!" and "yo fabian shao ye" and singing along to stupid busted songs, and also the college anthem when i requested.haha!

it was good up until he started impersonating FCW, which was quasi-amusing, quasi-freaky. ryu yu very cute la, but stop recording yur own voice and being narcissistic listening to them over and over!haha. anyway people, go visit ryu's clog okay!

and on singapore idol. i voted thrice for hady just now cus only the best has fans even in people who have no time for reality competitions (read:A level students). and also cus im rooting for the siglapian right!haha.

anyway, when the annoying twohill finally got out last week there was this freaking cryfest on national television. wth. all the minahs and stupid girls cry cry CRY FOR WHAT!
or yur father die ah? mother kena breast cancer is it?!

just some poseur-i-can-sing-in-pitch-and flip-my-hair-but-aint-fantastic contestant got booted out, so what? cry like as if yu lost yur fake von-dutch wallet + 5million neoprints like that. yeuch.

*sob sob* he knows he can sing and i believe he will continue doing what he loves.. *tears*

omfg i wanna puke already.stfu la okay? *barfs*

and another random. thanks dear for staying over yest to help me with math =) it made the biggest difference! if i really break the single-digit barrier i'll do 10 things off yur list for yu k?haha.

alright, back to the mugathon already!there's stats on monday!

and last episode of jin sanshun for me :( omg im like such an aunty keep watching korean dramas (first da changjin, and now jin sanshun) but its okay, the shows are worth watching! sanshun is like the cutest woman alive la!

right.. i was kidding.haha.
cute in a gross manner la. the way she dances is DISGUSTING!the way she sings makes yu feel like tearing yur ears out!the way she acts demure and shy makes yur hair stand!haha.
she's so unglam, so crude, so violent yu're like grossed out.

but yet on the other hand she's this frail emotional 30yr old woman who's been thru alot, endured emotional turmoil and braved many storms, and thats what endears me to her!haha. so channel u at 10! (:

i'll continue mugging after 11, and yes i promise yu andrea i'll marathon jin sanshun with yu when yu're back from aussie alright?heh

and yeah, i wanna go cut mohawk after prelims. comments? =)

k toodles people! ki o tsukete! and listen to aguilera's new album. love it!

2006-09-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

i have absolutely nothing to blog about right now,

my brain's all mush and recitations.
tracheids. ornithine cycle. loops of henle.myoglobin n haemoglobin.

i'd like to think ive been studying all week, but that'd only be a guise cus hell i went out ALOt. guilt-ridden but did absolutely nothing about it,heh.

speaking of which, the airport's a mini-meridian all having a mug-fest i swear.someone bomb the place!and mj will lose half their candidature for the exams, along with the stupid delegates and participants of the imf-world bank meetings.unleash hell!id be amused (:

and here's to our 911 tragedy anniversary. lets crash the petronas towers to celebrate?yay.

anyway,i lost my stupid wallet whilst playing parapara for the first time(and last) because ultra_high_heels wanted to play.haha.and yay!i got my 5th ez link card made today.im back to 45cents bus/trainrides! dont yu think i look like a convict?the woman working at whitesands photoshop felt so!haha

here's yur photo, shiqi!poor kids, lucky i stepped down already, and didnt have to sweep the floor/clear up the mess after tday celebrations. testament? dustpan+broom

another random! please go and study ah idiot lazy mereith.

there's absolutely no way nina's gonna sit beside yu during promos and let yu copy her answers!

and a parting shot for good luck tmr?haha. pic with ms lai and the ics guys (: lets hope some wisdom enters the head of this unprepared procrastinator! the close proximity might've diffused some over!haha

ps:

feel better arms,we're all here (:

to my bestfriend.im sory i missed yur bday.but as promised,gimme 2weeks alright?

to sarah,NO MORE TV.study now k dear?smiles

GOOD LUCK FOR PRELIMS GUYS!

gambette!

reminisces

2006-09-05T02:12:00.000+08:00

thats what yu get when yu have a macbook as cool as stef's =)
we laughed so hard, so loud, so uncontrollably that people started staring!

phototheraphy aside..

i've always believed that the true test of the friendships i have is after i graduate, or when i actually have to constantly make effort to meetup and catchup, and not take for granted that yu know, hey, i'll see them in school anyway.

thru my years i've seen many relationships i've had with others prosper, as well as diminish to distance to become mere acquaintances. but there's this particular group, the people whom i've known the longest, and each one of them i hold dear to my heart. this one's for yu, yu guys =)

the past few days have been of nostalgia and things past, having met up with these oldest friends i've had since psch.as always, dinner conversations will inevitably involve the days bavck in mbs band- jovial, carefree,simple (not forgetting fat and chubby!haha). those days were seriosuly, god, i dont know, perfect. it was some sorta utopia and reminiscing the time we spent "growing up" together only brought back smiles. serious =)

but what i really love about these angels, is not that conversation can be so effortless, or that i feel so at home and comfortable around them.

thing is, our perceptions of each other are so ingrained that not even the most stupefying, shocking, unexpected truth that we newly discover about another person will even change the friendship in any way. i mean, so what if my habits have changed, or that i fucking smoke or smth.does it matter?

no it doesnt. after ten years of friendship, these little things dont matter anymore. these are the people who dont judge me, but instead, accept me for who i am. these are the people i would trust my life with, and not feel that twitchy insecurity that they might do smth untoward to me. now man thats a friendship i cant live without.

there're no inhibitions when it comes to confiding in them smth that i would think thrice and ponder a dozen times over before even telling my friends in college. i know that no matter what happens they wont look at me thru different lenses,and the perception of me remains the same. =)

these are the friends that have remained true,and who've made such a great difference in my life, people that have started the mould for me to become who i am today.the people i can turn to,time regardless, for anything, and i know i wouldnt be disappointed. people who truly care,who truly love yu, and who truly are sincere about the friendship.

and as stef said, if this was never mentioned, i wouldnt have even realised how close they are to me. the ones who really know yur famiy, been to yur place, the few whom yu'd have hardly any secrets kept from them. there's no pretence, no polite dinners, no painful discussions. man i do love yu guys so much.

over the past few days i've been talking to stef quite alot, and we just hit it off.even though the last proper conversation we had was months ago at the very least. i mean, man, we were on the same page, had the same frequency, and i could almost fill in the blanks and complete her sentences.

perhaps its because we've shared similar experiences, and that our personailties are more similar.anyhow thanks alot stef,for reminding me of that boy i once knew so well, and whom i nearly lost in the complexity if everything around me right now. we've got to make up for lost time alright?and as yu said, after my As.thanks sweets.

as for cam.here's one to yu, for always being there for me, and for always standing on my side no matter what happened. how our conversations can stretch over hours and how yu can make me feel so much better with what yu say is smth i wouldnt replace man.to my nonsensical,logical,long-winded yet to the point sis,thank yu =)

and by far i've drifted the most from min, who've weathered more storms than i would've imagined.sorry for not being there as i should've been, and for being too busy to even know what was going on in yur life. nonetheless, things will change, as soon as my exams are out, after all, we've seen thru nearly a decade in this friendship right? smiles. takegoodcare and as for that story?i wanna hear it. as for the friendship, thanks dear =)

ah, im feeling nostalgia, euphoria, and whatever other positve emotions one can pssibly feel all at once.the past week was really just a gift la. *smile!*

and what i've just said isnt discounting the friendships i have with other people right now. i've got good friends all around, from siglap,meridian, where ever.. but its just that there're still inhibitions, hesitations, insecurities when yu're around people yu know but dont know that well. especially or someone who's been betrayed and backstabbed, trust just isnt a free membership la..

but lets no go there today, im still in a happy mood, and do have time for some photos.haha. here's to the 4 of us! love.

dinner at newyorknewyork on tuesday =)

and we got the comfy seats!

stef and i =)

in the mbs band room =) (pity min had work).

stef and i are wearing our primary sch band tee, which STILL FREAKING FITS! how cool is that?im not fat!haha

tell me, where to find 50cent wanton mee!

this dude's been outside the general office since i remember! miss yu!haha.

2006-08-23T05:12:00.000+08:00

so many things all clogged in my mind
a thousand questions,a million doubts

sleepless fret

who can i trust anymore?

then again, im equally guilty of the affliction

im sorry

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAYS!

2006-08-14T02:32:00.000+08:00

i just realised that the week just came and went like that, and despite the long break with monday as the only functional study day, i still havent completed all the tasks i set myself out to do.haha

but anyway, school work aside.

last week was really a week of birthdays, and because i am so forgetful, here i am sending my wishes okay? =)

to angela, who i know but barely know,haha.
happy birthday! (august 8)
i didnt even know it was yur birthday and even asked why yu were carrying flowers(and alot of birthday gifts,masked by the paperbags,haha). sorry!
here's to yur 17th and many happy days ahead!

to steffy, HAPPY HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!! (august 10)

i've basically known yu for most my years and im so

thankful i've got a great buddy in yu girl!

yu're my rock - the sensible, mature,naggy mom yet fun,wacky and defintely funky friend.
maha bodhi would NEVER be the same without my little djie =)
have many blessed euphoric days ahead and goodluck with the assignments, photography and rey!as i know yu will =)

i'll see yu at mbs on tday!miss yu!

to jeremy, the dingdong bassoonist junior!
happy brithday!! (august 12)
thanks for all the memories from mjcsb -the sectionals, dinners,outings and whatnots!
the saxtion preent shall arrive,sometime this year, but no worries it will!
wahh,cant wait for japantrip where the section will be reunited again.haha.
may yur wishes come true and do well for promos alright?
takecare now kong! =)

to benny, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY SENIOR! (august 12)
my senior in band since waay back in mbs, and again in mjcsb
mentor,friend,confidante!
sorry hippo n i didnt make the dinnerbration on saturday(due to armstrong's concert) but im sure yu had fun still with the other bandits! the memories will go down with the other manyMANY happy memories we have from band!
my wish for yu?be strong and happy k? n tho we;ve drifted it doesnt mean the friendship's dead.hell no it isnt.
take care and SMILE! =)

to ibrizah,

who turned 18 yesterday (august 13)
happy *BOMB* birthday! haha
sorry i keep calling yu bomb (see she's arab and hence joke) but yu know i only mean well right bri? =)
happy birthday and have many superduperultra good days ahead!
SC rocks, and im glad we're teammates!

and lastly,

to KIMMIE! HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY yu! (august 13)
thanks for being there alongside me (with ken too) every step of our council journey and in class!
altho yu said im beng(based on 1st impression) i forgive yu cus yu've been the most amazingly supportive and nice friend.haha
yu rock,kim, and hope yu had a great bday!takecare!

IMAGE HEAVY =)

2006-08-13T02:53:00.000+08:00

i think the only reason this blog still exists is for me to upload the million photos i have. =)

its what defines this blog- photos, lousy blogging, photos- the way it is!

but thats really not a bad thing right?haha :P

CAM_WHORE! (psst.im REALLY actually tanner than alex!i refuse to say he's darker!haha)

in my room before squashing

ah!unprepared so make this idiotface,heh.

"(our) face's like chaocibai, I KNOW. but so what this is my blog i want to post (our) ugly photos so one day (maybe in ten years to come, or so) i'll be like omg i'm (ugly)"

a quote from armstrong which made me laugh SO hard when i read her entry abt ntnal day. n my sentiments exactly for this FUGLY pic(its not usually my practice to post gross pics on this blog, but this is too funny!!)

SERIOUSLY! WHAT WERE WE THINKING?!?!?!

yalayala, laugh at us (or me) cuz we look so deformed like we all have >46 chromosomes sia.

LARD POSERS! =)

see i told yu..haha.

cam-whoring while the other two played with each other *hinthint* inside.hahaha!

cam-whoring AGAIN.

and whilst playing squash downstairs, a little kitchen assembly was marinating food in my kitchen for the..

COUNCIL BARBEQUE!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D i love bbqs, and i love the council :D

the Council. number 3s! (sadly though, not everyone's here yet)

friends, family, workmates =)

van+ade helping out in the kitchen!

sadly i didnt catch the chef (ala mr hon) in action as he was being disgusting as always.haha.

pangker was helping too, but after i watched this i dont know if pk was more of a hassle than of help.haha. k im just being mean, punkie was so useful in the kitchen! :P

yum!

the first time i went to a wet market(at chinatown) with my mom in k1/2 i vomited real bad cuz i couldnt stand the smell of raw seafood. thats why i avoided my kitchen.ugh!

and then it started! at pit3 for 3rd students council! :D:D:D

singhtan.haha.

randoms.

haha.thats hand thingmajig is supposed to be like happiness. i guess we express ourselves differently la,hahaha

"R.E.S.P.E.C.T" -aretha franklin

thank yu so much mr yeow.words alone arent suffice to express the gratitude (:

cherio =)

dear and i :D:D:D lovelovelove! CAM-WHORING like mad, trust the EVs to do that!haha :P

the robin bird and his perrenial victim.

MR HON I KNOW YU ARE READING THIS>> I STILL DONT HAVE A PROPER PHOTO WITH YU!

haha.thanks for all the hardwork for the bbq yeah!

yu're the best! (sorry i need a sharper nose la,haha) :P

horsie and donkie!thanks for the lovely daily peanut butter+chocolate breakfast sandwiches that are 3/4 filling 1/4 bread! joycie ROCKS CAN!hahaha

vanvanvoom!

we rock la, i miss our every morning/councilmeeting chats! thankgod for csi meridian!hehmeet up soon! =)

sargas ogls to OHAS!

vega+sargas ([jian+fab])

amaf

temasek siglap temasek. sweeeeet!

food o' glorious food o'er flaming hot purple fire! yum (:

azzie wuzzie and i!

cam-whores, bag-whores, great conversations!

the guys!with mr hon n yeow =)

the s206 councilors.

the sc journey was so much better with the both of yu with me along every step of the way! psychotrio rocks!

SHUYI!

random group shot!

the wussies,haha

at the end of the day, i enjoyed myself tremendously,and i have to say this. .

I MISS ALL OF YU SO MUCH!

we'll meet up again soon, as i know we will. i dont mind hosting once again!haha.

thanks for all the memories =)

2006-08-11T13:52:00.000+08:00

okay so tuesday was the national day celebrations and as ALWAYS, i've got photos aplenty to share with the rest of the world! :D:D:D:D:D:D

ah, i take too many photos!but i know yu like it cuz i always have photos!hahaha.

i wonder how i'd live without my digicam! :P
no i cant, i'll DIE!

no, not our ct, just a reallyREALLY fun,amazing tutor n friend, ms K!

the Litguys from s206, save for kenneth n ryu who ponned.tsktsk.

azzie wuzzie!

lard n triglycerides!whee!

mus, the one who shone the brightest.thanks =)

the buddy, confidante, partner in crime! thanks kinky!

raaj n tan

not the most synchronised, aesthetic performance. but it wins hands down as the FAVE item for the day!

erm.. mr yeow in a rather awkward moment?haha. and check ms yong out!so funny!haha.

Ms Gill! how can gp EVER be the same without yu? WE love barney!

valley and mun-mun.haha! =)

hsf

05S206!!! lovelovelove

mereith the junior who DOESNT look like me. please la he's better looking and doesnt have perfect eyesight lor.haha.

cinderella in orange.sweet. i think my ct's one of the hotter teachers in school!woohoo!

mich the loudhailer!
fellow bandit and sargasian, LISAfuad! whee! dont kill me!
the haha-girl(in the words of kim) who's sunshine all day! thierry hongry! (: classmates since i stepped into mj!

catherine and i!primary 5&6 classmates in maha bodhi! =) man , they silly things we did back then, so funny!

dear and i in the atrium (: what a juxtaposition of fashion and tradition.haha
:D:D:D:D:D:D

OGmates in sargas3! charissa, the one who calls me asshole everytime she sees me,haha.

it was my nick name in sargas3, not cuz i was a jerk of sorts, nono, but cuz we all got named after bodyparts. there's nipple, left&right butt etc..haha

yet another sargas pic! kevin n i.. ooh i LOOVE my ogls to bits!
i wanna be sargas OHA again and relive the glory days with these kiddos! (altho kev looks like he's older than me or smth,haha )
fenty,myself and khai! sargas = love (:

the terrorist and the mandarin orange!hahaha. stupid alex go and tan, now i dont look dark anymore,heh

the old 05s215 from my 1st three months rocks cuz of crazy people like wenze!haha.

the lardies from 215 and band! =)

i just had to put it up!hahaha.sorry lex!

erm, jo? the bag abit out ah..haha. but we both look nice so i'll overlook the bagbit :P

3rd SC rocks!

from left: mr hon, pk,mus,pal,ali,ME,shuyi =)

went to play squash and had the sc bbq in evening but this entry already took SOO long.

so yeah, another day then!haha.or maybe later if i have time!

WHEN MY PLAYLIST SPEAKS TO THE WORLD

2006-08-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

taken off joel's blog, where i saw this random, but rather amusing entry.
so abit of copy and pasting, and random song shuffling,and there yu go,
today's entry.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
breathless (kenny G)

hmmm..with or without clothes? :P

Will I have a happy life?
Time of Your Life (greenday)

ok im smiling. not half as bad as jo's eh?hahaha

What do my friends really think of me?
Long time coming (oliver james)

think sexual?heh

Do people secretly lust after me?
because of you (kelly clarkson)

ambiguous too, but YES i take it as a yes too!

How can I make myself happy?
still waiting (sum41)

okay i guess i'll get the answer another day.haha

What should I do with my life?
samsonite man (alicia keys)

like work at samsonite selling bags?NONO!haha.stupid playlist :P

Will I ever have children?
i need to be in love (the carpenters)

is that a partial yes?i hope(: kids are so adorable

What is some good advice for me?
look what you've done (jet)

whats that supposed to mean la!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What is my signature dancing song?
Uhh Ahh (boysIImen)

. . .

What do I think my current theme song is?
bringing out the elvis (katharine mcphee - American idol5)

. . . . . . . . . .

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
drift away (uncle kracker)

i've always liked this song (:

What song will play at my funeral?
you'll be in my heart (usher)

awww.. *SMILE*

What type of men/women do I like?
i have nothing (whitney houston)

i LOOVE money, so im hoping when whitney sings i have nothing, it means nothing on(clothes)haha.

What is my day going to be like?
journey to the past (Aaliyah)

who knows? i've been feeling nostalgic and rethinking certain things.pah!

period!haha. nights people :D

of Ws and such

2006-08-09T14:42:00.000+08:00

why?i can never tell.
when?everysingledayofmylife
who?aye.
what?its complicated.
where?itsunpredictable.

2006-08-07T02:11:00.000+08:00

i miss the band members from aichi meiden
i miss the band members from aichi meiden
i miss the band members from aichi meiden
i miss the band members from aichi meiden
I MISS THE BAND MEMBERS FROM AICHI MEIDEN!

i think im obsessed.

fukkuuuddaaaa... can yu hear me calling yu?haha! so gay!

ps: lard and i are disgusting! if she permits i shall post the msges online.
till then! oyasuminasai!

jour parfait

2006-08-06T03:46:00.000+08:00

met dear and woah! she looked damn fhot today la can!
totally blew me away in her mini dress+brown tights+chic gold belt+static peep toes.and with her hair half the length it was cuz she cut it yest.
HOTHOTHOT!
heh.

so our first stop was like to bugis cuz i havent been to bugis street in like, what 2 years?
i remember my last visit to be after Os or smth. daaamn long ago, i know.

i thought the signboard pretty cool =) so blingified can.tho some bulbs obviously blew.

its like so different now can,

from a dingy narrow street full of smoke to a dingy narrow street full of smoke + red-light-district-esque neon flashlights.

and sarah called me a country bumpkin ):

well its just that the place doesnt have air conditioning and reeks of oily (although nice) food that overpowers my supernice cologne. (todays'choice of smell was bvlgari aqua) *shamless!*
so i just dont frequent that place very much.

plus all mao pai (unauthentic) one la. i dont mind buying brandless stuff, but i dont wanna buy fake stuff cuz its like, well, fake.

ok im not tryna be high and mighty all, im actually quite tempted to buy the stuff there. the choice is endless cuz they've got sucha dazzling array! plus so cheap and look quuuuuiiiiiittteeee*forced* real la, the pirated stuff!

well its just that, if i buy smth unauthentic i just dont feel as good or confident. like if people ask, oh so where did yu buy that puma bag from? and instead of saying (the puma store at marina, i say bugis street. then EVERYONE WILL THINK IM A CHEAPSKATE! which i really am la, i dont deny.haha! but not when it comes to clothes and all.

anyway i got conned into buying $2.50 bubble tea that 1) has syrup tt doesnt dissolve = lumpy n coagulated 2) tastes pretty diluted 3) wth. bubble tea's not even popular already and yu sell for $2.50?!?knn daylight robbery ah! stupid pirated rip-off bubble tea.haha

but i bought it anyway. couldnt help it la, felt like i could do with a milk tea since there isnt a starbucks in bugis street. lol

us in midstreet while crossing from parco to bugis street =)
darlings

headed to parco afterwards. don't yu think the kids here are so cuute!!?haha. i remember doing that with my classmates in my maha bodhi uniform.haha!the kid in the front looks like those african babies with bloated stomachs!

isnt it funny how in africa, the children there have bloated stomachs cuz of a lack in proteins and an excess of starch from cheap food, whilst in singapore the children suffer the same fate, except that they're just plain fat.hahaha!

these two kids are soooooooo adorable. i wanna kidnap them! hehehe.

later we passed a store selling superhero themed apparel and im currently quite infatuated with the superman trucker cap.

but i'd only don a cap when im too lazy to do up my hair, which is like never. afterall beauty cannot be compromised, no? :P

dear being narcissistic, but not v good at it. im a better cam-whore.haha!

another cap, also in the running to be the next item on my shopping cart.

i wish. need to wait till i have money! ):

from parco to Icons, and cam-whoring along the way.haha.

*plays song* "you're so vain.."

there wasn't much at icons though, where out of 5 levels of shopping only 2 stores appealed to me. one selling vintage and old-school commodities, really novel items. and the second was a store selling authentic second hand high-end goods from brands like gucci, lv and the likes.

fancied items from both shops but my wallet was wearing thin. hm, so yeah, at least i've got namecards so when a taitai would hire me as toyboy then can i return to buy them (:

the only other thing that stood out was the rooftop cafe, which had a pretty cool concept cuz there yu are under the cloudy sky, and yu're sitting on bean bags drinking yur latte.

ah! look at that horrid pimple on my nose. booooo.... oh well, at least i dont do a xiaxue.haha.

us on beanbags, on the rooftop =)

but the drawback's that the bean bags look like thrash bags, so at first glance yu'd really think yu were looking at a rubbish dump instead.haha

looks like thrash bags right!hahaha. but the ambience is really quite nice, cosy and quiet. good for conversations/make-out sessions/cam-whoring.

it nonpareil still i think, other cafes are all the same design-wise.

headed to chijmes after that(: sarah fell in love with the place instantly(ok, i still cant believe she's never been there before) and now wants to get married there.haha

im not sure if yu can see the chapel behind

so in any case yu cant, these two photos might help =)

we both thought the chapel gothic can, what with all the typical gothic architecture (read:rose windows, pointed arches, hollow spaces etc). its like the gothic abbey that recurs in the genre.haha.

i bet next week's lit trip around gothic landmarks in singapore will stop by this beauty(:

the pretty who's nvr been here (:

who's the country bumpkin now yu tell me? haha. pot calling the kettle black yu frog in the well :P

its off to esplanade thereafter, where we met huiks and justin! (and leon+his gf on the way there) apparently while all the couples were watching fireworks at marina bay we were touring the whole bugis/cityarea.

ignore the annoying mat/minah sqwaks in the background, just enjoy the splendour of the fireworks! niice!

but nothing to lose, we're going to the national stadium this wednesday anyway, so can see the fireworks display anyway (:

ah, fireworks bring back a thousand memories *content sigh*

we're such horrible narcissists, arent we? :P

sarah had a swell idea after we reached one fullerton, and the pictures speak for themselves!hahaha...it reminds me of the exorcist scene in(i think) scarymovie2 where everyone was just puking on each other. i find the pictures terribly amusing.hahaha

ok anecdote time!

sometime last week dear and i stopped by rafflescity and we got ondeh ondeh (some peranakan kueh,my FAVE). dear, being the country bumpkin she is, had never tried it before, and when she took her first bite -yes bite! she didnt put the whole thing, which isnt all that big, into her mouth- the brown sugar filling all spilled out!

UNGLAM!!!

it was all over the floor, and on both our hands la!so after washing up, i asked dear to try another one. and being smarter this time, she put the whole greenfluff in her mouth. and when she chewed, with her mouth fully closed this time, the brown sugar filling STILL SQUIRTED OUT OF HER MOUTH! it was all over the floor, so we hurried away. and yu can imagine how badly my stomach hurt from all the laughing.

so everytime i think of merlion now, i just smile myself silly.haha! and this picture only made the visual pop back into my head :P

here're the last few photos we took. today was sucha CAM-WHORAGE day.yay.

on the way to fullerton (:

this is the MY GIRLFRIEND IS HOT photo. cheers everyone.haha
in the lift
and the last photo of the day, at clarke quay area. there's this thing floating beside dear which i was assuring her was probably just some reflection.

but superstitious her refused to believe (7th month somemore right?hahaha) and got freaked out.poor girl, so timid.haha!

anyways, out of total randomness

the drink that kept me company as i blogged tonight!
vodka cranberry (:
think im catching on the drinking habit that runs in my family,heh

k its 5 and i gotta sleep! nights people!

there's a flea market to go tmr!(if i wake up, that is :P )

ps: i love my shirt from raoul, but yu cant see the lines! so sad ):

2006-08-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

pool view from my house =)

ah, swimming works pretty well too.

not that im feeling the same way i was yesterday night.

its great living in a condo, really. the pool's just 5 mins away

and i can swim anytime

and plus ive got a new tan, although everyone would say they cant see the difference.lol

i know cuz i see my trunks on my body(awfully pale and sickly looking),but no one sees that part except dear.haha!

so they dont know the difference btwn the old tan and the new.

gonna shower now, gonna meet dear and study!

ta!

ps: call me weird, but i've gotten healthy recently. lunch now = whole bread with can tuna. plus can save money for japan also =)

2006-08-05T10:38:00.000+08:00

i love running in the middle of the night at 2am
especially so when yu're feeling screwed up

it alleviates the tension the angst the sorrow
and there's no one there to screw things up further

no one to judge yu no one there who's competing with yu
no one to scold yu no one to piss yu off
no one yu have to bother with

just yu the empty road and the music yu're plugged into
complemented by the rhythm of yur pace

its a sorta alternate reality where the rest of the world ceases to exit
and the want for peace and quiet keeps yu going despite the debilitation

yu just keep going
the more tired yu get
the less yu think
no space for yur thoughts to fester

times like this im so thankful for the solitude

cheated!

2006-08-04T19:10:00.000+08:00

stupid internet robbed me of my picture post of juling's bday!

now i have to do it all over again.

the web's a moron =(

2006-08-03T00:59:00.000+08:00

what is it with tv that keeps me glued, robbing me of those muggable hours?

man, thats the reason why i cant study at home, next to the fact that the bed is so inviting =)

just when desperate housewives season 2 is drawing to a close, there's ANTM! and i cant for the life of me miss that.

anyway, paul twohill is really icky. he is NOT cool,sings so-so, and looks like the before pictures for plastic surgery makeovers. what is wrong with si?

ps: im becoming worse than sarah chan, who is the number 1 tv addict off my friendlist.she's so hooked.

for the girlfriend's viewing pleasure..

2006-07-31T23:04:00.000+08:00

ok this is 3 months overdue, but since yu keep harping on about it.. im here to please yu okay? *blows kiss*

1. frequently (heh, but recently, what with studies and all..)
2. never ( and its not because its the politically correct answer)
3. once in awhile (well, there ARE hot ones out there.hah!)
4. never (unless yu count celebrities, i know them after all right?)
5. frequently (wah yu pervert! n see i dont have a perfectly sculpted body ma,haha)
6. once or twice (it happens! dont ask me why! haha..)
7. frequently (but can yu blame me? its only normal right?im a guy.heh)
8. if 7. is frequently then it'd be the same here la, just that it isnt as hot.haha!

and this stupid survey is for women la!haha.make me do it.

and its not like yu listen to me all the time also what,heh. but now that i've done it yu cant harp on it anymore :P

of the week past

2006-07-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

from the moment i left college, i was deliberating between heading straight to mug for tmr's bio test, or come on to the net to blog, and now yu can obviously tell how much willpower and determintation i have when it comes to studying. haha

but i mean, since i have to burn pictures from the exchange with meiden high for some people, i might as well blog right?its almost been a week since the last post anyway.. (ok i realise im trying to justify my online presence which shouldnt be, just to alleviate some of the guilt,heh.)

so the past few days have zoomed past without relative hype, especially after the departure of our newfound friends from japan, although in actual fact much has happened. there was 1] the vocational assignment at semb naval base on thursday, 2] juling's birthday chalet on friday, 3] scholarship seminar/preview at suntec + dinner with sarah&family on saturday plus 4] a recent breakup of pretty close pals over the weekend, which turned out to be quite drama (but we'll save it for another time, off the net(: )

so ive had a busy week flitting from one activity to the next, and finally im getting my head above water again. studied the whole of yesterday, and i swear after this entry im heading straight back to the notes.

*******************************************************

so yeah, after sleeping like 4 hours plus on wednesday i had to wake up 530 in the morning to meet jasmond and head down to semb naval base for the NDU vocational assignment.

for the uninitiated,this stint isnt an enlistment, just a sorta gauge whether yu're suitable for the job to be a navy diver. it just happened that i was in the very first batch of 800 shortlisted to report for the assignment, so its really just coincidence la. no need to sound so shocked and secretly think, fabian got so fit meh, cuz im not.haha

for the people who're also down for it, and are piqued with curiousity, brimming with questions thats all NDU, please, i dont work there!haha. its not that i dont wanna be a nice friend,but i've repeated myself at least 10 times over already, so cut me some slack, alright? =)

so im gonna put it up here and if yu have eyes to read, i hope this satisfies yur queries.

here's what i had to do there, and i dont know if it differs with every batch.

IQ, cognitive, personality tests (that stretches 2hours plus, i think)
an extensive medical screening
a 10m chamber dive (to see whether yu can take pressure on the ears)
swimming test (just a 100m)
selective napfa tests
an interview, which really isnt anything much

so there, questions answered? =)

and curse my needlephobic self when i heard that we had to take blood tests for the med screening. i cringed when i saw the needles and fuck i swear i cowered into my seat. it didnt help that one of the three 20-yr-old-looking medics claimed "KNN, first one miss!" - meaning that his first patient of the day had to take the blood test twice cuz he missed the vein on first attempt. it only made me more jittery.haha. thank my lucky stars i didnt get that medic,and when the-medic-with-better-aiming actually drew my blood i felt nothing. its not that it hurts(didnt hurt at all,really), its seeing the needle pierce through the skin that makes me feel like puking. injections are really REALLY SICK ok? ( and dont laugh, its called a phobia).haha.

ok back to where i was, for those of yu who've got to report too, dont worry la. its really nothing much. half the time was spent waiting around cuz its quite inefficient on the admin side, i gotta say. waste time. i left the camp at 845pm la. still thought can get a half day and sleep at home.haha!

i think the only part yu have to consider is the interview segment. the interviewer (a SSM) will ask yu whether yu wanna be a diver, so just be honest la. (training is apparently tough and damn xiong, so see whether yu want it or not)

want say yes. dont want say no. never thought about it then say dont know. simple as that.

i said i never thought about it, but wouldnt mind giving it a try since from young i wanted to be in the navy, for all the wrong reasons of course.heh. cause i wanted to be the submarine captain that looked through the periscope to spy on enemies above water. being a diver is just as good as fulfilling the chilhood dream :P

for those who really dont wanna get in, just tell him NO, straight in the face. and when he says, "if given an oppotunity?" just tell him no, yu wouldnt consider it anyway. but no one can guarantee whether this means yu really wont get into NDU also. cuz after all its mainly based on yur medical history, and not so the physical aspect of the tests or the interview.

besides, the clerk bringing us around told us that those who intentionally 1] swam super slowly, 2] pretended they couldnt see clearly, 3] did zero chinups or 4] jumped 1.65m for SBJ even though they can jump like rabbits, still got into NDU. ultimately its medical so dont try too hard to show them yu're not fit.haha. for all yu know, if they seriously consider the results from the vocational assignment, yur chances of getting into other units (e.g. OCS) might be equally screwed. yu know how anal the army can get right?haha. plus faking it would be really apparent.

thats it.hope this would help and save me on repeating myself again!

*****************************************************

as the week came to a close on friday, we all headed down to downtown east for juling's birthday chalet!!!! (not after a 2 hour nap first la, i was SO tired!).

it was a chummy reunion, ok not so much of a reunion, cuz although the seniors have all graduated we see each other so much! thats the reasion why i love the band even more, the alumnis are so united and supportive, returning for every single event that the band still has, and even when there isnt any event at all!haha.

ok i have a problem of rattling off to irrelevant sidetracks. anyway, it was a chummy reunion and i thoroughly enjoyed myself! there was a pillow fight, and lots of other stupid things stupid people like us do. so ya! we really had fun la. plus as it got later and later, we got crankier and crankier, so it was pretty amusing, heh.

anyway blogger's being a bitch now so i cant upload the pictures from that night. shall post it sometime this week then. =)

***************************************************

then on saturday, sarah and i headed down to the scholarship preview at suntec where we got complimentary tickets, which turned out to be pretty much a waste of time.

there was this panel, where 5 scholars were seated with the host - 3 rjc scholars, another one from national and hwa chong.

so the host turns to the woman from rj, and asked " so how did yu do for yur A levels?"

to which the pissy prissy arrogant little bitch replied "oh i didnt get straight As, just A A A B only" *smiles in the most hypocritical fashion*

the host followed up asking, "so what did yu have to do to get yur scholarship then?"

and that stupid woman, who obviously wasn't giving any sound, useful advice to people like me still scoring DFF at midyears, retorted in the most unbelievably nonchalant manner, " oh i didnt have to do anything. after i got into nus, the scholarship offer came and all i had to do was to accept" *flashes another smile* - cringe

BITCH! hope yu get fucked by a horse and tear yur labia into shredded petals. okay, pardon the obscenity, but that obnoxious arrogant woman who's probably a half-breed with an elephant for a mother, deserves it. skin so thick, shameless! granted, she has the brains, but to that extent? pui! we(my classmates went too) were relating the incident to ms gill and she said that when yu go to uni there're bound the be people like that. bleagh. annoying brats.

okay, i know i really went on a tirade against rj the last time. that was in a moment of fury, and i really have nothing personal against their school. but this time the bitch deserves it. just happened that she was from rj again. too bad.

but all wasnt lost at the preview.. i picked up an application for the sph scholarship for journalism, though i probably wont get it la, and im quite sure because of an extremely "insightful" interview with smelly-labia scholar. but oh well, hope for the best la eh?

headed for dinner afterwards and i swear i will get lardier, after just losing weight over the holidays. ate at this hongkong teahouse place at bugis street, which served really yummy chinese food at reasonable and relatively cheap prices!whee! plus i still ate supper at newton la! confirm put on the pounds one!haha. on the flip side thoguh, im extremely content,heh.

***************************************************************************

ok that abt sums up my entry for today, shall post the pictures from juling's bday soon, as well as blog abt the exchange programme with meiden high, which i think have to be split into 3parts at the very least.

back to the books...

2006-07-26T19:09:00.000+08:00

they're going back at 930 later, terminal two....

i think this feeling is mutual between everyone, both meidens and meridians, and as proof, a few of them cried just now, the japs and the sings. aye

ahh. they're extremely nice and should stay in singapore forever to spread their brand of culture - discipline, enthusiasm, initiative and a whole lot of manners and respect.

they've even asked us to go to japan, and in the case of kenny, got an invitation to stay at her house. so nice of them =) fukuda's been asking me to go to nagoya too, and i will!!!!!! **looking up to the sky in determination!!**

ok, shall post later.

hope they dont start crying again. its infectious. . .

cards and wishes pt2

2006-07-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

so i went to school the following day and i really was dying in lessons, having not slept since thursday morning. i dont know why, but despite the extreme sleepiness after blogging, i didnt go to bed, but scoured around online from blog to blog instead.haha

and as yu know, in lessons it just wasnt interesting enough to pique my interest and keep me awake, so i was literally sleeping on my notes. ms wang threatened to throw her shoe at me, twice. haha. but thats a different story altogether. im here to finish the part abt ms sia's bday card (:

so we met up after school at 325 to finish planting our creativity on paper, where my mood took a positive turn. i was so grumpy from the lack of sleep i wasnt even excited about fondue for miranda day or smth. and thats when yu know something's wrong with me- when even chocolate doesnt work.haha

here're the remaining photos of the card-making process!

paulina working on a caricature of ms sia thats not meant for public viewing. the caricature's really stupid and retarded(cuz pok and i were masterminds,haha), sorry ms sia!

and zhengyi talking to donovan cuz the stupid idiot went home without writing in the card. he forgot MS SIA's bday. haha`drawing pok and yan cuz our pics dont have them :( better than nothing la.haha

the back of the frame. now yu can see the card taking some shape..haha. anyway i chose the blue-green theme cuz its the same as newurbanmale!

and that's about a third of where i shop now.so naturally i like the colours.haha.

after grabbing a whole stack of magazines from the library that absolutely NO ONE reads, we cut out little alphabets and stuck them in the frame.

thats huiks acting cute.haha!

and when yu run out of glue?... haha. ok seriously i threw that piece away. we used glue and only glue. thats the end pdt! not bad, i must say! must praise myself for being so good at this card-making thing. haha!

tadaa! and thats the front! a true work of art, with alot of effort and sincerity! =)

cam-whoring with a card, ok thats stupid. but its the silly little things like these that we do that make us even more bonded! =)

adding the finishing touches after sookun and sarah came back from whitesands with the ribbon...

and after everything's done, there's always the group shot =) (after zy wakes up, at least. see his sleepy eyes.haha)

the same people who baked kenny's cake, by the way.haha =)

so after we were done in the canteen, the six of us headed upstairs to the hall where the band was rehearsing for saturday's concert with meiden high. oh yeah, the jap band reached earlier in the afternoon on friday and they were so cute, but we'll save that for another time ok? haha..

the people bringing in the cake for the woman :P

oh, happy 47th! birthday ms sia. we know age doesnt matter cuz yu're so young at heart right?! HAHA!

and juling baked this fantastic looking+smelling cake for ms sia! its orange and cranberry cake with cookies and muffins on the side. yum! juling, yu bake the best pastries in the band, school and world can! thanks for always bringing little muffins and cookies and all during band practices that saved us from hunger! haha.

note:: if yu guys wanna order pastries from juling, a little advertising will be up soon (:

thats all guys! out!

cards and wishes

2006-07-21T03:24:00.000+08:00

gosh im still up at this dead hour of the night(or rather morning) doing ms sia's birthday card.yawn..zzz i've been at it since 1 and im still on it.bahh.its from atp but i'm charged with the responsibility to do it cuz i suggested it,haha.me and my big mouth :O

anyway here're some pictures of her in-process card!

the raw materials!

colouring the huge ORANGE flower.man i miss art in secondary school :'(

have i told yu guys that i loooove the smell of colour pencils and crayons?i dont know why, but it started since kindergarden, especially with crayons..when they make yur fingers all sticky n nice to smell =)

and in it goes into the card/framewhatever yu wanna call it..haha

the little card for our personal messages =) the spirally thing is cut from a postcard!haha. its good to have a few hundred postcards for yur collection.never know when it comes in handy (:

open the heart and yu see personalised msges!..erm, just that the rest havent written yet.haha

the hands-ons

stupid printer has no more ink! jialat!

ahh, the card is severly incomplete but fatigue is catching up so fast i cant continue.shall complete in school tmr instead.haha. plus i've still gotta make a trip down to whitesands to get the ribbon and stuff,and i end at 505!

hmm but maybe i can make the lardmonster go with sarah, since she ends earlier.haha.yeah ok, i'll do that =)

*************************************************

anyway, to ms sia (cuz i heard she reads blogs)

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
may yu never get old and always be with that vibrant energy and heartwarming smile!
(i dont know how old yu are, just take it as 30? hahahaha!)

thanks for everything yu've given to us in our journey with mjcsb! for yur patience with us, determination and passion, laughter and humour and for putting up with our musical diarrhoea after a long day in school(haha!)

its been such an enriching and endearing journey.. all the way from juxtapose! in dec 2004 when i just joined the band till joie de vivre II, our last concert together, with many in betweens [syf, 21st century international band competition with gold and gold with distinction respectively, the camps, lunches and what nots (: ].. the memories will never be forgotten! haha

happy birthday once again! we'll be crashing band practice later to pass yu yur card and give yu our well wishes! see yu later! =)

cheap thrills

2006-07-14T00:44:00.000+08:00

my name is jocelyn and i love hairy indian guys

the two nutcases ian(my brother) and his girlfriend jocelyn are entertaining themselves playing indian poker, and the loser has to do a dare the winner proposes. and that was what my brother asked me to put on my blog -.-

what a cheap thrill,haha. but its pretty amusing how they try to do each other in by embarassing the other, or making them doing stupid embarassing things. and as the only other family member still awake im the unwilling victim of their pranks ): haha

jocelyn wanted ian to kiss me, and thank god he didnt.phew. jocelyn lost one round and had to like put her finger in my nostril. wth. she asked me to close my eyes n 2 secs later a finger is shoved hastily up my goldmine n quickly withdrawn. its disgusting man, i tell yu, but granted, its quite amusing.haha.

oh btw, she's wearing my brother's boxers on her head now as they continue their bizarre way of passing time.haha. nights guys

the insane duo

noche arc en ciel

2006-07-13T22:10:00.000+08:00

yu know, all my life i've thought that prom nights (ala graduation night) were a thing of hyped up anticipation and eagerness.

well thats until i saw the response for mj's prom night, noche arc en ciel(rainbow night. corny). the j2s seem remotely excited over this MAJOR event that has been projected as a promised night of regal glamour and uber-ecstatic fun. the response was lacklustre and it sorta kills the whole hullabaloo that surrounds prom night. whats the point of going anyway, if the people whom yu spent the 2years in college with arent going? what a downer,haha. but i guess i cant exactly blame them eh?

after all, 95 bucks is pretty steep if yur parents arent gonna come up with all that cash. and thats excluding the suit, the shoes, the hair, the accessories and what nots (and make-up for the girls, and confused guys?haha). it easily totals up to a couple hundred i bet, since everyone would want to look their best( and i daresay outdo one another), and as such naturally sucumb to the superfluous extravagance and unnecessary spending.haha

but i still think its all worth it =)

cuz all that cash would be extremely well-spent given the irreplacable memories prom night brings with it ((:

and after all its our celebration of the two years in college right? the time to reminisce our highs and lows and laugh over an extremely impeccable 10 course(or 8?) dinner from hai thien lo, some uber-famous cantonese restaurant with reknown asian chefs or smth. what more at the 5-star pan pacific (top 7hotels in singapore)?

imagine how resplendent it'd be - orange glow lights, professional entertainment n emcee, lots of cam-whoring and the unforgettable memories it'd bring. plus yu get to see yur friends all grow up before yur eyes in an overnight metamorphosis! nerds become cuter and the prettys get prettier. n i will look damn good also la, of course! ok thats shameless, but... do away with the geeky specs, the faces painted the make-up and the sky-blue uniform traded for stunning dresses and tuxes. god, it'd be super.

hmm.. lets just hope everyone sees prom night the way i do =)

...anyway...

all that talking abt this year's prom night made me dig out the photos of my prom night 2 years ago! god those were the days man, and prom nite for the class of 04 sure as hell was fun. ah the memories! nostalgic.heh.

i remember almost everyone donning black, the uber-chic colour that never runs outta style. especially for formal occasions such as these glittery prom nights,haha. jooting and i, and damn i wasnt prepared,haha.

im sacrificing my reputation putting up such an unglam shot here,only because at that point of time i havent had my digicam yet and had to use the super budget film kind. so i dont have alot of photos to choose from,haha. mrs chow the ex-discipline mistress! she's smth like a ms lai -the BMW, the hair, and the she's-nice-but-im-still-scared-of-her kind. nevertheless she was an excellent teacher and caring mother. thanks for everything ma'am, though yu'd never see this!haha.

class of 4G!whee! gosh i love my class to bits!

we were super united and won like everything can? best sports class, cleanest classroom(or smth), best designed banners(2 consecutive for n'tnal day etc) and after 2years together, best class award! which got us $500 bucks for our aloha loyang bungalow,heh.

so shamelessly arrogant right?but they were divine, so they only deserve such mention!haha

see? everyone was in black!there's beatrice, haryati myself and julie,haha.

ema looks v different doesnt she? but looking good as always la right ems? though i look like disgusting n kiddy with all chubby face fat! eww.

as for the rest of the pictures, i looked too ugly for human eyes- sorry li, ours aint here although yu looked exquisite that night. and elfi(who was prom king!), i cant bring myself to put up our photo for fear of looking too average beside yu.haha! cheryl..i think yu'd rather i not put our photo here (heh heh) and the rest, i looked constipated and my smile so damn frozen the pics are never gonna see the light of day on this blog man. hahaha.

gosh the fun and excitement! =)

2006-07-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

but whenever yu're feeling in the rut there's always a friend who'll be there to pull yu outta it.

texts that say:
"brilliant sweetheart inspiration joy pillar love free exhilerationtrust life full hug friend. you pick the word. =) "
tells yu that yu're never alone in yur journey.. thank yu.

2006-07-10T18:57:00.000+08:00

embittered gone why hope failure regression optimism perhaps perseverance damn sucks uni believe faith shattered pathetic veil procrastinate dream break passion flat study if zero determination fly monotony countdown possible NBC reality lost passion disaster cant cave-in strong rain again falling mend notes burn As spark facade survive fuck silence fear reflected nothing shadows hesitate despair F extreme yes no drive tenacity zeal sleep

some words that played through my mind today in school
take yur pick
listen to mariah carey, it helps =)

2006-07-08T13:30:00.000+08:00

looking back on the past few entries, i realised my blog was becoming quite morose with all the rant abt the exams. so here's smth happier, to me at least, cuz i met up with my ex-classmates yesterday for our ritualistic starbucks catch-up :D

elfi,alvin,liyana,ema,keeyong,cherly and i on the sofa! :D:D:D:D:D

god i miss them so much. i there's one thing that stands out in sharp contrast between the siglapians and meridians, it has to be the fact that i've got no inhibitions about being myself in front of them.

perhaps its because we've known each other for such a long time now, and have obviously have gotten past each others flaws and love each other for who we are, which is obviously the reason why we're still such great friends after 2years.

its a totally different atmosphere in MJ, friendships are undeniably more surface-deep, and i constantly fear being bitched about by my good friends behind my back, although thus far i havent heard of any YET, but that insecurity's still there la.

its obvious i adore those siglapians :D

i love the way we never studied till last minute

i love the way we never did our homework, never brought our homework, and never gave a shit when the teachers nagged about us not doing the first two.

i love how we screamed and laughed and made so much noise that people got irritated with us (which is still the case now, since the starbucks guy asked us to tone down cuz people were complaining, haha)

i love how we never cared what other people thought of us cuz we knew we always had each other.

i love the bitching sessions, it makes me laugh so bad,haha.

i love the sarcasm and smart-ass quips, our weird way of showing our affection for one another! (:

i love the lack of conservatism and openness to almost everything, especially sex (nyaha!)

i love how we can talk the whole day and not run outta topics, random as they may be.

i love how we cam-whore so much that the people around us start starring,haha.

i love our catchups at starbucks, they make me love yu guys even more each time

ah, i love yu guys!haha. man im missing so much stuck here in meridian ):

so anyway, yestrday was a real blast and im looking forward to our next catch-up guys. here're the photos i promised!

ema thinks she looks good here? yu reckon?? haha

happy three friends

the flea marketeers :D

e true cam-whores before keong n al came
the afghan woman who has no money fro bras or nipple-tape.haha!

yu've got us behind yu li, never forget that :Dending off with the blurred up multi-shots! extremely unglam, extremely fun :D

that's it! meet up soon again alright? take care now :D

2006-07-06T16:17:00.000+08:00

"the worst batch in four cohorts"
tell me why i hate the post mortems again? in the words of ms lai, yes my batch is now officially meridian's disgrace, worst than our dear juniors who're almost, i daresay insanely charged with vigor and zeal when it comes to studying - a generalization, of course, but there's truth in it, nonetheless.
so the papers arent back yet, but from the word thats going around we can gather this much. we did extremely badly(and for every subject while at that) - pathetic sky high msgs with an astounding mass of F-graders- and so the cycle of peptalks have only begun. fuckit man.
now ms choo did yu say "What's wrong with a meridian going to Harvard?"
now i must have heard wrong.

2006-07-05T04:32:00.000+08:00

oh here's a random video off the endless source of vicarious entertainment called youtube!

its so funny yu wont believe it!!!! the stupid japanese and semi-retarded-looking dodo's english is so bad even high school japboys are laughing at him, despite the risk of getting whacked by their teacher!haha!

my heart goes out to hento(or smth la) man, he couldnt stop laughing and got whacked so many times!haha

enjoy!! (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

ok let me count the number of times i fucking burst out in laughter..

tenten one, tenten two, tenten three, tenten hahaha!!!!

ITALY!!

2006-07-05T04:24:00.000+08:00

give podolski another yellow and get the stupid hysterical germany coach outta my screen. he's like a raving monkey on the side, tsk.

go italy, at least win at penalties or smth,haha.

italy vs portugal come sunday

lets all pray =)

2006-07-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

finally trudged through the last week and alas,midyears ended today.what a bloody dreadful period the blasted exams was,eurgh. but now its done and as always, im dreading the post mortems even more than anything else.

simply because.. knowing full well how teachers can make yu feel like yu're some human wasteland with a completely screwed future, if the future was there to begin with, of course. why but its just their reality check for us, after all WE came into college because WE wanted to get a good Alevel cert and as such WE need to work hard and no one but ourselves can help save our own asses, right? ah yada yada, all that crap that makes yu feel like why-the-fuck-are-yu-even-sitting-for-alevels? as if the to-be pathetic results need anymore rubbing in.

speaking of which i remember getting called up into ms lai's office.now trust me, what the seniors, and the seniors before them say abt the visits to the office is true. yu go in apprehensive, heart-thumping nervous and all, and come out feeling like yu've got an IQ below 70, seemingly doomed to be a toilet-cleaning ah-pek for the rest of yur life, and most if not all come out teary eyed,exterior all dismantled into nothingness. yes ms lai puts it in perspective for yu, and it certainly was a rude awakening after the block tests for me.

but somehow, it just doesnt get in does it? come june and there i was being overly committed to my non-academic life - alumni band,catching up sessions, holidaying and of course, lazing - and put mugging once again in the back seat (in due time, find my name flooring the cohort on subject boards for proof,haha ).

yes it just doesnt get in, such words of caution being somehow too elusive for the brain. i guess we all learn it the hard way, cuz i certainly think i did.

im sick of feeling the wrenching fear that grips yu the day before the paper, the mental blocks 2 hours to the exam,making any last minute revision a near-impossible feat, and the feeling of utter and complete failure and incompetence whilst attempting -if with any success at all- the paper i could have studied for. i guess that's my rude awakening that'll stay.

the pressure compressing and pestering yu all the time, stemming from the realism of the impending As. (its not so far anymore ): )

so here i give yu the full authority and right to slap me awake should i ever fail to keep myself in check, and sucumb to the evils of complacency and procrastination once again. i need that jab of discipline, really.haha.

here's to working hard for the As, full steam ahead and jiayou alright?

study hard guys =)

procrastination masturbation

2006-07-04T00:32:00.000+08:00

procrastination is like masturbation,

it feels good but in the end you're only screwing yourself.

119days to Alevels.

you know what NOT to do guys =) jiayou

2006-06-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

exhausted.

burnt the midnight oil yesterday for today's paper and im glad it paid off, coming out of the exam hall earlier feeling relief as opposed to dread, which had been with me the whole week.

maybe it because its friday.people live for the weekends afterall.

ah but whatever it is i slept 2hours yesterday and now im feeling that grumpy tiredness.ought to get some decent sleep,i say. speaking of which, my sleeping patterns have been far too irregular. 10hour snooze, 5 hours later n im tired and asleep again.2hours sleep, n i can go about on end despite the fatigue.it isnt normal,haha.

went to zhengyi's house couple hours ago in the afternoon to attempt baking a cake with the rest of atp. what a failure,for our cake collapsed and the icing cracked before it was even smeared on proper on the surface of what looked like an old,dirty brown sponge.eurgh.now it looks like a stone cake.

nonetheless it was a valiant effort,thanks to zhengyi,pok,huiks and sarah who, together with me, fussed over the whole affair in and out of the kitchen.haha.at the end of the day, i think it looked decent enough, considering its a first attempt by any of us at baking afucking cake.besides, it was hellalotta fun doing random,and of course refreshingly new stuff like these with yur friends =)

nevermind, kenny has to eat his birthday cake anyhow, regardless of the weirdness in exterior. its hard work and sincerity after all,heh.

germany and argentina later, and i havent slept a wink yet since 530 this morning.hmph. think i'll not heed sarah's advice to turn in early,heh. sorry dear, soccer means a lot after all.haha.

squash tmr, cant wait. =)

and math. can i jump now?

haha, alright enough ranting from me. enjoy the weekend guys (:

2006-06-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

god kill me, today's papers sucked.
i wanna run away, and im scared.
i want my sarah now.hmph.

in the meantime, as the rest of the world is still mugging and feeling super fucked up,

ive got long due pictures from the start of june
met up with my bitches ema and jooting and here're some snapshots!
i miss my siglap friends so much, i cant wait for the fucked up As to pass when i can resume our devil's playground days.heh.
bitch,drink,club

:D

and a photo of the mj muggerboy in the uniform ):

2006-06-23T16:09:00.000+08:00

as much as i feel obligated to go back and have another go at differentiation(yes! im actually attempting math!), icant. as i stare at my limp wrist, im like thinking. man i need a break, i've studied for 3hours!.... okaayy,so i havent even gotten past 3 questions. but its just that after NOT studying for so long, its hard to get the non-existent momentum back.

as it appears, i happened to see the compilation of photos from bintan lying so desolate on my study table, and since my brain told me to go to hell a few times whilst doing math, im going to upload pictures instead! *grins*

to start off about the trip, my mom kept calling me on monday before i left, 6 times in total to be exact. asking me a whole lot of questions and hurrying me along. bahh. parents worry too much, or maybe its just mrs tan, who's probably dying at her desk this very moment as she sits through her 12 hour, ad nauseam work day.

anyway she called and called- telling me to hurry and change, asked me whether i've picked sarah up yet, what we're doing, are we at the ferry terminal yet, what am i wearing, did i bring my passport, did sarah bring her passport, did we bring our passport? - to a point that i wanted to switch my phone off.

but being the good son i am, i didnt, which explains the photo as sarah and i sat on the bus to the ferry terminal. that poor working mother of mine.

at the ferry terminal, with the mass of people behind, it bring peak period now in bintan.

the reason why sarah and i look so happy (later on in bintan too) in the pictures, is because...

everything is paid for by my dad!! don't yu wish yu had a free holiday too?!

the only time i had to take out my wallet was when we had to pay for our ferry tickets, which happens to be the ONLY thing we had to pay for, at $39 each. *smirk*

thats me with our tickets, boarding passes and passports.

then we boarded the ferry, and settled on the upper deck. its amazing how many ugly singaporeans there are, all shoving and fighting to get on the ferry like they're gonna get stranded at the jetty without boarding the ferry. it doesnt help that they're fat and making their children do the same.

the seats near the exits on the main deck was first to be filled, probably cuz thats the best position to ensure that they're the first to get of the ferry so they can run to customs, get their bodies and bags checked, and chiong to the shuttle bus to take them to the resort, only to wait for the other tourists they had successfully got past to fill the bus anyway.

but then again, if yu think about it, they can get the seats nearest to the exit on the bus and be the first to rush off when the bus reaches the resort, shove past all the customer service staff and be the first to check in to their rooms. wow, i totally feel the immense sense of achievement.

gosh i mean, learn some manners please. and relax! yu're on holiday now.

anyway it started drizzling along the journey there, which was the first hint that the subsequent days were gonna be as much of a similar boo-boo. but apart from the weather, everything else was great, almost perfect even :D

on the car to nirwana resort hotel, where we luxuriated in for 5 days(:

s m i l e !
the room, with all its woody splendour and homely furnishing. it really has this indonesian feel, with alot of wood carvings as decor. happy us then, as yu can imagine, away from all the madness.

and the sheer amount of clothes sarah and i brought was obviously too much for 5days. we're overpacked in our excitement, but can yu blame us? heh. there're some more in my bag still, but those are for sleeping n jogging.

i obviously didn' t get to wear all of them, and those i did weren't even dirty! like wear for 2 hours for dinner then back in the hotel, or dress in another set of clothes for the 5 minute walk down to the beach and strip, no clothes. tsk me!

later, while exploring the hotel, we saw this.alas paradise isnt all that perfect with these ugly frogs everywhere. this one's a lamp for the path, so yu can imagine how many there are lining the walkway :(

even when yu shower, yu're rinsing off in frog's saliva. now i understand if gothic architecture employed the use of gargoyles as waterspouts, placed on the exterior of buildings, which also served to ward off evil spirits given their grotesque appearance.

surely the architects didn't think these unsightly, ill-matched creatures could ward of mosquitoes and houseflies? it'd be really dumb.haha!

but apart from the fugly slimeballs there were lots of nice flowers and plants around to beef up the tropical-ness of the resort. now why don't they grow these in singapore too instead of plain old bougainvillea and stupid mango trees.

we naturally gravitated to the beach thereafter, and tadaa! the smooth sandy shore and frothing waves!

i love hammocks! with a sea view to boot,heh.

plus our tall shadows on the beach, which of course is to be relished, given that singaporean genes generally yield short kids :(

a big plus point for the beach is its super clean, and that the water's very clear, which is the case for most beaches that's not in singapore((:

im basking in the light, as sarah poses in the setting sun! sweeet!

another tender moment in the sea ((:

i tell yu, the place is really filled with hermit crabs creeping up the beach and within 5 minutes we'd caught this many. and they're alive, unlike the sea creatures yu find back home.

i saw dead jellyfishes(which i made into muah chee afterwards),a dead starfish, dead crabs and even a dead crow in pasir ris beach before, so im not making baseless comments here. anyway, the hermit crabs were really cute. i had the urge to pull them outta their shells, but it'd be too cruel.

aye, wasted.

thats beach as we prepare for night, and dinner! where we ate at a place at the hotel lobby called the dino bistro. the name? well apparently because it houses this really fat and ugly iguana called dino. i think they just ran outta ideas and thought the rhyme really witty.haha.

dinner was really good anyway, cuz with good food and warm indonesian hospitality, why not? speaking of which, the service here in bintan is really pronto with cheery smiles. excellent.

they served a complimentary basket of bread first - hard roll, butter roll, french roll, some long biscuity pocky bread and a nachos-esque flatbread, served with this really yummy tar-tar sauce that yu dont get in singapore, and another platter of a pasta-ish meat sauce. yum!

the lemon tea was yet another treat, with real (where yu can actually taste the tea) lemon tea served with syrup on the side, in which yu add in whatever amount yu like to get the kinda lemon tea that agrees best with yur taste buds. a sour refreshing tinge or sweet flavoured blend.

guess which i prefer?

the sweeter version of course, to satisfy my sweet-tooth!hahasalmon romesco! which is pan-fried salmon fillet with creamy roasted pepper sauce, with parsley potato and teppanyaki vegetables!

the view we had from where we were sitting, and a giant chess board in the lobby, which will be the only time we can pretend to be royalty eh? haha..
the next few days rain plagued the island, and we didnt get to swim a whole afternoon proper. but all wasn't lost cuz we snapped really nice photos anyway!
beach in the morning, when the sun was still shining bright(above), and the beach in the afternoon will the dark ominous clouds(below).

and oh remeber the pink woman with long boobs? thats her son in the weird suit above. check out the float too. seriously if yu'd seen them yu would laugh out too. the family's so queer!

we went to the kelong restaurant the second night with my dad, who works in bintan mondays to fridays. which is why its cheaper for us to go holiday there, not that money was something we had to worry about on our holiday. but it saved my dad some money all the same(:

that's us on the back of my dad's buggy!

we didnt take any photos of the fabulous food there though, for fear of looking like sua-gus in front of the other people, although the dishes looked and tasted fantastic! the seafood are all kept there live at the kelong in the sea and gosh, did we have a scumptious meal!!!! yum yum. i wanna eat there again la! here's some of the food we tried.

a)their sambal kangkong was the best i've had by far, naturally, since the ones i've tried are by hawkers. the chefs there had years of training and experience, i bet.

b)the chilli crab is really a must try if yu go to the kelong in future!! the sauce is really a burst of flavour in yur mouth- spicy hot sambal with a tinge of sweetness and what not! the crab's so huge, with the meat so succulent and smooth! words can't express how nice it is(plus im not competent enough in language to describe it) so yu have to try it for yurself!

only downside was, as my brother said, eating crab's "too much trouble for too little meat", which i totally agree.

c) prawn salad with honeydew and rockmelon! this is by far my personal favourite! the prawns are like super fresh and bouncy, and its so sweet and the meat is super tender. god, i'd give so much to savour the dish again!!

ah, then came the moon, which for the first time in my life i saw rising from far in the distance like hovering just above ground to high up in the sky with the hundreds of stars that little the night sky.

it was reddish at first.

then it rose slightly higher and turned a lighter hue of orange. that's the beam of light cast in the sea :D
and it rose higher still, yellowish now, and high up in the sky.
an hour later when we were back in the hotel, the moon was gleaming brightly and really lit up the whole sky!

gosh the night view there is really gorgeous. speaking of which, the other time i mentioned we went midnight swimming? it sure as hell was romantic cuddling in the sea at night and looking up at the hundreds of stars and the boundless sea ahead with the tiny twinkling lights illuminating from the boats and ships afar. sweeeet!

but there to spoil it was the person on duty patrolling the beach,who kept flashing his torch at us as if to confirm whether we were humans or pontianaks. stupid idiot.

back at the lobby (:

haha. this photo is weird, and weirdly funny! thanks sarah! (cuz i cant do anything with adobe!)
brushing my teeth as we prepare to head for breakfast!

breakfast at the hotel's coffehouse, which served a delectable and toothsome spread. there was so much and yu just had to eat everything! indonesian cuisine, japanese treats, western favourites and everything in between!

as sarah said, and as i lifted so shamelessly off her blog to quote, "The food was so rich that you can hear the calories laughing maniacally as you chew on it. So savoury that you find your will power slinking away as you banish the thought of surviving on boiled lettuce from your mind. So varied that you can't decide what to eat, so you eat everything instead. "

have i told yu i lovelove pancakes with maple syrup?! yum!

lunch at the coffehouse again, and yu bet we had the buffet again cuz there was so much food yu can't not eat!

i was so bloated after gorging on so much food, i could almost hear my stomach calling out its plea for me to stop.haha

the resplendent sun set, with the calypso bar edging the corner.

the view was great, but we didn't see the deep hues of orange and red and purple sky we heard could be seen.. but it worked for me,just look at the pictures!

us looking at the setting sun and all its blazing glory.

now that i think about it, it doesnt even look romantic.. it looks like two depressed lovers going to commit suicide and drown in the sea.psycho! haha!

us at calypso bar beside the kelong restaurant :D

if yu don't wanna get sticky at the beach or accidentally gulp sea-water (ala disintegrated dead animals n marine gunk), yu can get wet and accidentally gulp swimming pool water (ala human pee and chlorine)!

the pool's pretty nice, with frothing bubbling jacuzzis, water polo nets and a view that looks like yu can swim to the sea! of course then, that it isnt an endless pool, but what a nice illusion isn't it?

plus there's a bar right smack in the pool too, so when yu feel like a bit of cocktail or fries while swimming yu can swim to the bar, sit on the little tiled stools with yur feet and butt in water and chill out! and yu can simply leave yur name and room number at the counter so yu don't have to bring cash into the water! so cool right?!

or if yu opt to lie on deck chairs and read instead, there're the friendly waitresses clad in batik kebayas going round and taking orders and attending to yur every(except sexual) need! good service, really.

ah tell me why i should not love bintan!

apart from the fact that everything's a rip-off, of course. wanna cheat tourists only. a can of coke $3.50 leh! a bottle of 1.5 litre evian is a bloody $7.50! damned swindlers!

waiting as sarah changes after our swim in the pool. i think i look quite cute here! -.- doi so shamless.haha!

day 5, lunch at the bistro again. this time eating pasta!! its such a pity sarah doesn't take cheese, cuz cheese is soooo nice! especially the parmesan cheese yu sprinkle all over yur pasta and pizzas! mine was coated with a layer of cheese, which looked quite disgusting, actually, but tasted damn good!

getting some mugging done. guess which subject im doing!

alas we both decided on a walk, and landed by the beach and settled on the hammock!! and well we're very guai, so after cam-whoring, we both read our shakespeare for mid years..(we really did, no kidding!)

sarah looking gorgeous, as usual :D

this is what yu see if yu were lying where i was on the hammock! shady reprieve with the sun blocked out!
but then it was time to leave and we had to check out and leave the sunny paradise :(

thats our bags all packed and rotund-somehow going there the bags are slimmer, but coming back there're more things to carry right? puzzling.-sitting in the hotel room. two adidas' and two nikes!us again on the car as we make our way back to the ferry terminal again

and yu get to see ugly singaporeans once more. although this crowd isn't pushing so much cuz we're one of the last few already, parents with kids given priority to board first.

speaking of which, almost everyone had a handful of kids there la, like 3/4 of the tourists. aiyo, all the sows in singapore and we still have a low-birth rate.

the setting sun as viewed from behind the window of the ferry, which explains why there's this film of marks n scratches and fingerprints on the sky.

alas we're back in singapore and its familiar lights and bustle as we speed through in a taxi.

much as we didnt want to, we had to come back to reality to mug! poor us.. given a choice i'd stay there a month longer!

PS: some random snapshots of us in the room! which was super cold cuz the air-con is NEVER switched off!

zooming in for the kiss on the neck..heh. most girls like it on the neck right?( i think so..) :D

yu can never tell we're NOT nude! with tube dresses and boxer shorts, everything's so cleverly hidden!heh

this photo is kinda wrong la, but i like -.-

damn, 84 photos, and a few bloody hours to upload. :D but at least the entry's done

2006-06-21T21:33:00.000+08:00

as the impending and utterly dreadful mid-year ala sure-fail exams draw nearer, im here once again in bintan, this time with a bigger troupe of people. my parents,2 brothers,sarah and my brother's girlfriend.

the weather's better, though i came here feeling really awful, having taken ill since sunday. its like a burning fever coupled with a really bad throat and topped with a heavy throbbing migraine. ahh a perfect way to come on my family vacation. haha. i recovered pretty soon though, with the help of aspirins, panadol, sleeping almost nude in an air-conditioned room without any comforter, and a few gallons of water.haha.

fast forward to bintan. we're enjoying it tremendously here, i mean, how can yu not with the sun, sand and surf? we're staying at mayang sari this time though, a beach resort with the beach really at yur doorstep. like step out onto the veranda, walk 20 steps and tadaa! soft smooth sand and the sea, 5 steps further.

bintan's damn nice la! shall upload some pics here soon. in the meantime, read off sarah's blog to see a glimpse of the beach i've been harping about. taa!

paradise beach

2006-06-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

3days ago i left our local shores to go for a pseudo-honeymoon with sarah-our little getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life-here in bintan. the past three days had been fantastic, what with excellent food, perfect atmosphere, and oodles of laughter and amorous fun.

after checking in to nirwana gardens(thats the hotel we're staying at), sarah and i head for the beach, conveniently at our doorsteps like less than 5minutes away. the weather's been slightly disappointing though, cuz it'd been drizzling in the afternoons the past 2 days, which isnt all we expected cuz it isnt supposed to rain here in june. it must be the pollution messing with the weather. luckily though, that the rain were passing showers and we werent cooped indoors for the rest of both evenings.

went shell picking today, but it wasnt too fruitful cuz the shells that get washed ashore are the broken ones cuz the hermit crabs stole all the nice, postcard-esque kind. i know that cuz on monday during low-tide, every step we took by the shore garnered hermit crabs by handfulls, which ALL had handsome hued shells. bahh. so anyway we picked what measly shells we could but still had fun cuz we saw some pretty interesting sights.

one of which ws a 40-plus chinese(a disgrace, but she's prob singaporean) woman in a hot-pink two-piece, with a not so hot body, with flabs and pale skin everywhere (i don't even wanna go to the long boobs), donning a huge pink beach hat floating in the sea on a ring-float, which was unsuprisingly pastel pink. it was a fashion disaster, and almost looked like the fifth teletubby that got kicked out of the show cuz she wasnt youthful enough to be prancing (Oh imagine what else bounces if she doesw prance around,eww) and squealing. yuck. but she gave sarah and i a few good laughs, so im not complaining.

as expected, the scenery here is fantastic too. everything's so picturesque and postcard worthy, its almost surreal. even the ambience of the hotel is really romantic, so yu can imagine the visual treat sarah and i are getting. only pity is that our digicams arent high-tech enough to capture it exactly as it is, but i shallpost some pictures here anyway, soon.

moving on, i've only had time to come blogging cuz sarah's having a little snooze before we head down to the beach for a midnight dip(bintan's an hour behind, so we'll be going down 1am singapore time),heh. its supposed to romantic or something, smooching and lying there under the night sky. speaking of which, there are like 5000 001 stars here in bintan can?! very beautiful..pity again that our cams cant capture that.haha. and while dining yesterday at the kelong, we saw the moon hovering above the ground somewhere in the distance near the ferry terminal. inititally it was red, ad as it was covered by some clouds and hence wasnt round, we thought it was a balloon advertising for something. but as it turns out, the balloon kept rising and gradually morphed into orange. when the clouds cleared, we finally saw a super round bright yellow moon riing up in the night sky. it was amazing laa, i never saw the moon like that before! so nice..haha

anyway, i'll upload the pictures when im back in singapore cuz i forgot my cable and as the laptop doesnt have a cardreader(: till then i've got some messages for a few people.

to anyone reading this and knows chengxin: i totally forgot about the drinks dispenser chengxin asked me to bring for friday's band farewell bbq, and there's no way i can get it there in time cuz i'll reach singapore late evening on friday. so if yu're reading this, help me tell chengxin and borrow from someone else k?haha. paiseh! and i know yijun has one so kwok, yu know what to do alright??heh.

to susu: im so sorry i didnt return silas on time cuz of the concert on sunday and the preparations leading up to it. sorry sorry!! study lear and m4m first k, and as soon as im back i'll return it to yu. hope kim told yu already(cuz i was talking to her on the ferry before my reception got cut.haha.i dont have autoroam ma!)

to sookun: i realized that the beach has alot of purple shells, so i picked some for yu.haha. i think yu'rethe only one getting a souvenier!there're not really very purply, but anything thats purple and gay makes yu happy so i hope that'll make yur day!

lastly to mereith: yu better have been studyig the past 3 days cuz yu havent even touched yur books this term break!grr, nina if yu're reading this, i think yu need to coerce him into studying or else his midyear results will yield grades with only my initials. FFF!!!

oh by the way, we saw two mj tutors here, which was quite surprising cuz no one in mj has a life, tutors included.haha. norman chua's here with his family, while another gp tutors here with his spouse/girlfriend/sister/prostitute.haha. alright, time for swmming! taa!

photos stolen from the laptop,heh. to give yu a little visual treat!

the calypso bar by the kelong where yu can apparently see a breathtaking sunset,which today, sarah and i couldnt cuz it was too cloudy ):

2006-06-09T18:46:00.000+08:00

a few hours ago i sat here blogging but had to rush off for alumni band at siglap, but now imback here to continue my vapid entry about what i've been up to(:

come monday and whilst studying with sianwei and wenjian -cuz we're all pasirrisian councilors- we decided to go night-cyling and with a few phone calls it was settled that it'd be a mini intra-council outing. but qiqi and julian were too petered out tojoin us, leaving mereith and all his verve as the only one from the 4th council with us. so there we were, sarah wenjian sianwei mereith and i, cycling down upper east coast to get to ECP in the dead of the night, chatting idly and occasionally stopping cuz all our bikes werent in oerfect working conditions. though nothing particularly momentous stood out from the night's bustle, i enjoyed it thoroughly, and still revel in this unaccustomed activity(:

one thing stood out though, that when we were out cycling in all darkness and stillness of the night, it was the 6th of june 2006, that yields the date 6.6.06. as if that insight wasnt unnerving enough, we saw (and i nearly ran over) a black cat as we were leaving pasir ris, and there was this constant ominous flash of lightning somewhere in the distance, though in our path we never encountered rain. at least i wasnt affected, not alot that is, cuz i dont let these kinda ghastly spooks get into my head (though i can get carried away watching the likes of "ju-on" and "the others"). the guys were generally fine, and laughed it off, but sarah seemed the most apprehensive. with that the bulb was lit and we (sian,mere and i) hatched a plan to chill wenjian and sarah and i daresay we succeeded, although the day after we revealed the joke. corny as it may sound, it was amusing whilst it lasted(:

in the middle of the road somewhere at bedok corner on upper east coast

at ecp macs. sianwei's trying to be seductive, i guess. but mereith's obviously not responding.haha

about the best shot we could get without flash on my cam.

we proceeded for early morning supper/breakfast at simpang and headed back around 5. everyone went home, and as mereith stays at aljunied, he camped overnight at my house. thats when i really got to know him better. i mean, all this while we've been relatively close, but i never knew much about his background, which over the conversation we had till morning sorta dawn some light upon me. so if yu're reading this mere,there's always a bigger brother here for yu laa k (wah sounds damn gay, and corny!haha)

michelle came over the next day(cuz she was stuck with the exco in the SC room) and we bitched and gossiped (what better way to chill than with a bit of scandal), and i learnt quite abit about the disgruntledness in the fourth council, with the unceasing mouth of michelle's spilling juicy nuggets over and over. after that we ate the lunch my mom very kindly prepared in the morning, simple fare, for the mother of mine canNOT cook, and the two j1s made me cook an ommelette. argh. i cant cook, or rather i choose not to(i dont like the sputtering oil la) so i think i'll stick stick to survival skill number 1(and my only survival skill), stock up on maggi mee.haha.

so all the trivial fun aside, i went back to school to mug yesterday with huiks and alex but we ended up not really studying in the end. although i did finish a chapter of bio after 2 hours?haha.leon and teckteng came soon after and i guess the photos speak for themselves. we should've been studying, not cam-whoring, but it was jollity break from the monotony of studying anyway(:

huikoon, lifting off! (the irony of it, considering we call her lard!haha)

alex, leon and i being crappy and stupid, as usual.haha.

"im singing in the rain.."

teckteng (aka ironman) and i. he's too tall for my liking at 1.77 cuz im only 1.7m!boo..

this is stupid -.-

but i thought it was kinda cute too.heh

oh btw,we were all classmates in the 1st three months(: so it was a chummy little reunion of the old 05s215

sunday 4th june

2006-06-09T13:34:00.000+08:00

ive been going in and out of my house like it was a hotel without having to pay for it, and that sorta explains why i havent really updated recently, if yu dont take into consideration my propensity for laziness. and here ive some updates and 'such of my life - impertinent randoms laa,as usual.

waking up only at 12plus on sunday was really damn shiok - which contrasts starkly to the 4hours-a-day amount of sleep i usually get on schooldays - cuz there really isnt anything a bout of sleep cant cure. thing is, i was supposed to meet sarah at 1, so yu can imagine the frantic rush i was in when sarah called me as i stoned -unaware of the time- in bed. alas i met her at 2 and we headed for the flea market at zouk, which sarah had been talking abt the whole bloody week on end, so yu can imagine her excitement.haha. having been to flea markets prior to this "flea and easy - Zouk's flea market & afternoon party meets the CLEO young entrepreneur showcase", i think im in position enough to give this event a 4/5 stars, and thats saying alot(: they had a dazzling array of really pretty stuff, and it was really just bustling mad inside cuz we could barely walk, but instead had to shuffle behind the other eager flea-market enthusiasts in front.

although the timberlux flea market by undergrd movement was waay bigger with 200 vendors, i personally prefer this one at zouk because a) its air-conditioned, b) its air-conditioned, c)its AIR-CONDITIONED! haha. to boot, they also had good vibes, plus drinks(although im still legally underaged), plus alot of goods that appeal to me. i totally digged(dug just didnt sound right, does it?) this vintage adidas bag that cost 80bucks, but it was pretty worn and chaffed at the sides. now that i think abt it, i kinda wished i had gotten it! cuz no one would have the same bag as me, again!! there was this huge variety of sneakers, bags, tees,caps, shades,whats-nots that people like me would buy, and that was what made flea and easy that good.contrary to how sarah felt, i didnt think the things there were queer! unless yu call vintage clothes and pretty vinyl gems queer - not! but then again it could justbe the girl's stuff that werent exactly everyday streetwear. whee! flea markts are hot laa. if yu havent been to a flea market then yu havent seen the best of shopping!

its retail theraphy at its best. seeing the bag made my day, and i didnt even buy it.haha

the thronging crowd in zouk. or local kiasu-ism at its best more like it :P

sarah n i amidst the madness of it all. n damn, she looked hot in blue that day((:

oh shimmy shimmy, its the disco ball.haha

my purchases. a black tee for ten, i bought it 5 minutes after i stepped into zouk, at the entrance. i wonder how much thought goes into this kinda spending.haha

an adidas singlet for 7,or 8? i forgot. but in any case it was bloody cheap, and its in sync with the colours of brazil for world cup fever!

that being done, i rushed down to meet the other councilors for this year's LTC campfire, courtesy of mr chua for inviting the councilors and house capts. to begin with, i thought that their ltc location was hellloads more scenic, what with the resplendent view of the sea n aiplanes zooming overhead every once in awhile. pardon my lack of tact though, for after i got past the view,i saw the campers n i thought that the campers this year werent half as enthusiastic as last year's batch. perhaps it was exhaustion,but the LEADERS seemed disinterested n restless. whats worse was they were dead silent.. now tell me whats a campfire without noise? the crowd was totally lacklustre laa can.

and there must be something terribly wrong with the way they organized the campfire setting this year. there was this gigantic spotlight that killed the whole atmosphere of the campfire! it was way too bright,and the fire didnt do the night justice anyway. the wood used to fuel the fire were planks broken off from wooden crates, the cackling fire was akin to the fire that cooks my maggi mee. Instead of burning brightly, the wood was glowing like charcoal on a bbq pit. man, it was really more like a barbeque la.the fire served a better purpose as a pathetic backdrop cuz the campers didnt even get to sit around the campfire. bahh. the setting was horrible.

thank goodness though that the 4th batch salvaged campfire earlier in the night as the cheers got progressively louder, and the performances got cornier, -with unsynchronized dances, croaky songs(after all that shouting the past few days) and cheesy adaptations pushing forth the leadership skills they've learnt in all the wrong, but definitely funny ways- typical of standard campfires. i had a good guffaw over a few of the slapstick performances they had, and alas campfire was saved.the mood gradually build-up and at the end there was absolute high as they started singing and doing the all too familiar mass dances, and really, kudos to the next batch of leaders. to the ones i know, esp the 4th council, the sargas ogls who're now leading other people and the new band leaders baya n jensen, good luck for yur term and take meridian into the next year((:

the 9 councilors who attended LTC06 campfire, waiting for the shuttle bus to bring us whereever the camp was. (from left: yy, jian,pal,mus,punkie,haris,bai,myself n sian)

mus n pal, in a rather narcissistic moment

i dug up some old pictures of MY ltc and i found ice cream's group shot! we rock la can!

(clockwise from backrow, left: me,eugene,raymond,kevin,sebas,mano, ben,kailing,huisin,su,theng,sharon,shimin n cheryl)

campers of LTC 05

10things

2006-05-22T03:11:00.000+08:00

1. ten things i'll blog about:

Council investiture ala effervescence, which was a momentous, happy-sad occasion
mjcsb concert, joie de vivre II, which was a poignant close to my 2years in band
sargas and the OGLS (which was due a looong time ago)
sargas3 outings, with photos accompanying on 14th april and 20th may
my class, 05s206,a versatile, diverse bunch who make lessons SO BLOODY FUN
my sec four class, 4G's bbq on vesak day
school (THE GOOD, THE BAD,AND ALL THE GOSSIP)
a tribute to the people who made a difference in my life
an entry about random pictures
food FOOD food!!!!!!

2. ten things on my shopping list:

puma shoes
black havaianas flash
green striped lacoste polo tee
new underwear to keep him safe
a fossil leather watch
brown FUGL berms
afterlife tee
white lacoste canvas shoes
a new pencilcase
ipod video (ok this is just a wish_ anyone?hee..)

3. ten things i'll do in june:

study STUDY study
get my tan back in bintan
send all the photos i've accumulated to the people who want them
save money for the great singapore sale? maybe..
do some of the housework so mom can take a break
enhance the sex life given that there isnt school..heh
watch [i not stupid 2] because i deserve to..haha
bring sarah to a nice restaurant for dinner
spend more time with sarah cuz school/band/council's out
but still hang out with my friends as promised..hee(nervous laughter)

4. ten things i love about sarah:

how she tries to insult me but never succeeds - its so cute
her impeccable dress sense that blows me away
her "big" eyes
how she squeals and tries to run away when i tickle, not poke her.haha
her kisses cuz they're so warm, hot and passionate
her naive-ness, makes her so vulnerable i wanna protect her
her nice sweet messages to me when im feeling outta sorts
the food she prepares for me with her heart (egg sanwich breakfasts,chocolate and pie)
her intelligence (nothing's more attractive than a smart woman)
the sex. wahaha!

5. ten friends im close to recently(or since waay back) - all of whom i wanna thank:

huikoon
sarah chan
sookun
yijun
kinlok
michelle
adeline
mereith
ema
jooting

6. ten things i cannot live without having or doing:

money, which is really hard to come by
wanking or having sex (i'll get prostate cancer or smth from having too much semen)
my friends cuz they're the people who mattered most since i could think on my own
my stationery (as my closer ones know)
my camera,which captures all the special moments and everyday bustle that dont matter
the ps2 cuz im addicted
shopping cuz yu can never have enough
my phone as my contacts are all there
music, a major part of my life
colours, which makes the world the beatiful place it is

7. ten codes i (try to)live by:

to forgive but not forget
to never regret
to treat people the way yu want to be treated
to not complain when others do unto yu what yu do to them (like being late - insert guilty smile)
to remain calm and not let my emotions govern me when an argument arises
to groom myself properly so i dont look(or smell) like sarah's dog
to constantly make an effort to meet up/hang out with my friends
to prioritize (which i fail miserably at)
to remain optimistic even though everything sucks
to not be a control-freak and being so anal about tiny detail (the councilors would know this..haha)

8. ten things about me yu never knew(or already did)

played with my second brother's shit during dinnertime when i was 3
drank a bottle of soya sauce after my brother tricked me into believing it was ribena when i was 4
am a very emotional guy
secretly fart when there's no one around
bitch like, or worse than a girl
sleep naked when no one's home
almost always late
a total cam-whore
am afraid of girls crying and phobia of needles
went botak during chinese new year in k2, cuz i tried to look more handsome by cutting my own hair, which naturally turned out disastrous with uneven patches on my head.boo..

9. five things i like about myself:

my hair, styled
my outgoing personality
my tan
my piercings(total of 5)
my laughter

five things i dont like about myself:

my hair - after i shower
my eye bags
my complexion
my outta shape physique
my height

10. ten things i wanna do, or have, in my life:

join a nation-wide competition once (eg. singapore idol?hmm)
be a social escort, if i qualify, to loaf and earn money.hehe
go to smu and get my honours
go backpacking through europe
own a dog and name it fat joe
learn breakdancing
try myluck in modeling, which will probably never come true
be rich and wealthy
rights to protect men from the wrath of pms and menopause
my friends, whom i will still contact and meet up with even when im 40.

mjcsb JDVII

2006-05-19T02:42:00.000+08:00

yes yes yes!

after all those months of hard work and effort, of neglecting studies and compromising other commitments to practice for joie de vivre II, the day has come.

its concert night today!!!!!

haha, i can hardly contain my excitement as i stay up completing the lit essay on the thought fox due 3weeks ago(im so sorry su+jeev+mr loh). but thats besides the point..haha

no lessons tmr, so im meeting the saxtion to go buy flowers(gayness aside, i've always seen this flower thing as a culture) then saxtion lunch at 10 before heading to school at 11... man i cant wait, i hope we play well..haha. mjscb rocks, love all yu guys(:

some photos that carried me through the past year
SYF 2005 - mjcsb's first syf and we clinched a gold award for invictus (phillip sparke).

we made history for the only jc band that clinched a gold at its first syf(:

saxtion at mjcsb concert in dec 2004 - juxtapose! (from left - atikah,elaine,christine,yongqi,yijun,me,sookun,timothy,weejuay)

the mjcsb room photo collage (:

band camp version 1 last year (the saxes are right in front!)haha

the woman behind our success, ms sia swee suan((:

juxtapose!

atp at genting (backrow from left,clockwise- xuanwei,kenny,zhengyi,kinlok,sookun,sarah,huikoon,paulina, yosua,me,tszyan,donovan) yu guys ROCK!

2006 batch - combined section saxes+bassoons+string bass: these are the people that make wednesday dinners super fun.

(backrow from left,clockwise- isabel,weiling,jeniffer,yijun,me,cliff, pangyu, jeremy,sookun,elaine)

saxaphones 2006 - the best saxtion of all! (n the one with the stupidest jokes and loudest laughters)

group 7!! for this years band camp v2 (from left- kokkeong,me,chelsea,hsiangyin, jessica, lisa,samuel) quirky humor and silly fun.haha

mjscb at 21st century international band competition(genting, december2005) witha gold with distinction for noah's ark! wheeee!!!!

concert's gonna be a blast. see yu guys there man! JDVII, here we come!

fleaaaa market fever

2006-05-08T01:17:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: this post was initially lost due to the mysterious workings of the computer, but resurfaced in my drafts.. phew. so here it is(: an antiquated entry

ever heard of flea markets and all the hype about it? well i always thought they were overrated when they say you find the cheapest and nicest stuff at flea markets and not shopping centres. and boy, did light dawn upon me after i went to the flea market at havelock road yesterday! everything was going dirt cheap and the things they were selling, albeit second-hand, were nice with nicer prices! if clinical shopping centres dont work for you, simply because you cant find the things you want n as prices in singapore are so steep, then you should have been there! besides, online shopping has its limitations!haha..if you're budget conscious and looking for a good deal then hunt the next flea market down! juling and i nearly went mad from the huge array and inexpensive goods available.

initially we got lost trying to get to the ulu riverside hotel nestled somewhere along the singapore river, and when we finally reached we saw the deceptively ugly and dilapidated emerald buliding (ala timberlux centre) which hid the vibrant retail bustling within. it didnt help having juling for company cuz even though we asked each other to help us save money, we couldn't resist the temptation sucumbed to our shopaholic, this-is-too-good-to-let-off nature and shopped shopped shopped. and seriously, after the adidas bag i just bought, i was seriously broke and blew some of this week's allowance at the flea market! then again, if i had scrimped and saved i wouldnt forgive myself!haha..this was a typical scene.

juling: hey fabian, is this nice?? (flashes a pair of pin striped 3quats)

fabian: wah, not bad.. how much is it?

juling: its only 12bucks, but i need to save money cuz i spent too much already! hahaha.. help me save money!

fabian: well, id help, but if you dont buy this now you're never gonna get a bargain like this again! it'd cost a good 60bucks of you buy this from far east man..haha. then again, if you dont wanna buy i cant stop you ( raises a brow and gives the you-gonna-regret-it-if-you-dont-buy smile)

juling: ok here's $12 (to stallowner without hesitation, and whips the newly owned pair into her carrier, content)

im sure with persuasion jules could've saved 12bucks but trust me, its too good a bargain to miss! if you looked hard enough there'd be good bargains aplenty! and besides, i never knew i'd have so much fun rumaging through someone else's old stuff, let alone pay for them.. haha. the looks on our faces were classic and i swear we just kept smiling after leaving the place. i spent merely 23bucks on 3 tees while juling spent 40 on a top, 2pants and a skirt. now tell me, where do you get such painful inexpensive prices?!?! wooo. yijun bought 2 pairs of earrings and a bracelet, and her expression thereafter speaks for itself. it says, i cant believe how worth it it was! kudos to juling for spotting the flea market advert in 8days! so sue us! for not telling you about the flea market!wheeeeeee!

pictures pictures pictures!

i was really looking for a green striped one instead, but this was the closest, and it only cost $8.heh

rather small, but yu know how much i love orange and i couldnt help it..haha

this was a real bargain! my fave too, at only 7bucks..heh. i like the spectrum(:

the guilty spenders(me&jules) - posing infront of a HUGE fan cuz the place was hellishly stuffy and warm.haha.

this pup here is fat joe(i like the name).. a stall owner's adorable pet..

two levels of shopping haven, and the insane ever-burgeoning crowd

we went to ikea thereafter to get ms sia's concert gift and i had swedish meatballs (i had cravings for the longest time..haha) next time it'll be salmon(:

jun and i, at ikea

a picture speaks a thousand words, so here are the pictures taken over the weekend

at cartel, thats sarah and i - kinda shaky cuz of juling's lousy shaky hands..haha

1/2 priced pastry anyone? thats zhenghong and joel(:

darling sarah at the airport when we went to study on sunday.. so pretty can.smiles

thats us (and me looking kidddy-esque as usual)

i love my hair man. did i say it already? I LOVE MY HAIR!!!! haha

2006-05-02T23:21:00.000+08:00

guilty sinful pleasure! i just came home from town with bag i'd been eyeing for 2 months now and yes! now i own it! (albeit it being priced steeply at $199). defintely worth all that cash!heh

gosh, yu should have seen the look on my face when we were at the vault @ heeren. i was completely transfixed on that gorgeous must-have bag that im sure sarah must have felt a little jealous, at the very least. i'd been enamoured with the bag since i first saw it at the adidas originals boutique at pacific plaza, and immediately hatched a little money saving plan to accumulate a nice little sum to buy me the bag. but naturally, being such the spendthrift i am, and as i9 cant tolerate going hungry and end up eating instead of saving money i never did amass that desired amount. but with a little help from sianwei today i now own the coolest bag ever! haha.. no one's gonna have the same bag as me now..woot! sianwei, i owe yu one and i love yu more for this, heh, will treat yu to lunch once i become unbroke again!hahaha...

anyway, sarah went down with me today, which i thought was really really nice of her cuz it was such a hassle and kinda pointless to head down to town from simei just to get the bag and head home when she didnt even go to school. reagardless, anyway, i love yu dear((:just yesterday we were there too and today we went back to get my bag..haha. anyway, i still do think the green skirt yu bought is nice! and that the pair of customized mary janes at far east is quite a worthy buy, so dont hesitate k! smiles.

some pictures to accompany the post! ((:

the neoprint we took at heeren yesterday!so sweet la dear!

some stupid advertisement we saw in a advert book at kino. advertising for a line of clothing called black coffee, with a tagline that goes "clothing you wouldnt dream of taking off" with their models having sex fully clothed! absurd, but definitely amusing.

us at somerset mrt((: yu looked really nice in that simple white top and that gorgeous victoria secrets skirt((: so innocent looking (unlike yu..heh!)

money well spent!!

to my princess

2006-04-26T03:37:00.000+08:00

to the most beautiful, most gorgeous girl in my life.thanks for everything, i love yu so much that i wonder why myself.
yur favourite photo of us(: although i think my eyes are unjustifiably small

celebrating yur birthday proper at nydc suntec where we ate yur favourite potato salad and drank that silly love potion.haha.

one of our towning escapades on the 29th of october last year.yu looked super hot that day, everyday.
our first week together whilst romanticizing in a park.

at the changi airport carpark when we got bored of math.haha.the carpark's our escape into a world of our own.

the time when we were gallivanting on rollerblades at ecp before we got together(: i had the biggest crush on yu then man.

the photos taken on yur birthday, after i had a whole day of band practice at changi(: these are the nicest pics, i think.LOVE YU!

when we played tennis after a whole night of mugging at the airport, just 2 of us.heh

us in action, and i like yur tennis outfit((:

campfire night for orientation II,i may seem engrossed in sargas but i was thinking about yu all the while

yu're the most gorgeous, no one can match up to yu in my heart.

smiles, those were the sweetest memories we captured on camera(: the rest goes into our joint diary, which i think is a really sweet idea.LOVE YU DEAR! happy 6 months, 7 days, 2 hours and 33 minutes!

MJ vs RJ, 5-1

2006-04-26T02:03:00.000+08:00

arms aching, soaking wet and extremely pissed with the fucktard referee for todays soccer match against RJC at the teacher's network'. is it fair, that 3 minutes before match end, with mj leading 5-1 and having played in the rain for at least 20minutes then, that the bastard motherfucking cheebye referee calls off the match because of the rAin only to abandon it for a rematch,starting from 0-0 again. like what the fuck can, yu bastard motherfucking cheebye referee. its not like raffles could salvage their situation with 4 scores in 3 minutes.

the first half was rather intense with both teams fighting hard to maintain possesion and scoring. Alas, Zul worked his magic and scored a goal, albeit it being rather unexpected, that sent lightning through the mj half of the stands- screaming,jumping, hugging and a whole lot of cheering. It was a headstart that defintely spurred our boys on and made us feel alot more secure. it was after all, a crucial match that we had to win. Soon after, one of the RJ players fell(out of his own stupidity and clumsiness) and faked a foul around our six yard box, which the bastard motherfucking cheebye referee sanctioned a free kick to.He then pulled a fast one and scored while out boys were preparing the wall, which everyone thought the faker wanted. ugh. he scored, only because our boys weren't prepared, and the bastard motherfucking cheebye referee let it in, despite the protest from our boys and the teachers/coach, and a whole lot of booing from the disgruntled meridians. so it became 1-1, a little reprieve for the raffles people.

Nonetheless our pertinacious boys unrelented and continued their game, which proved too much for the RJ team to handle with 2 defender substitutions(in the first half) and a whole lot of leg cramps from their end. gee, i thought, sad isnt it? and what happened after was just sensational as the mj crowd watched glued and enchanted by our soccer boys.even the storm couldn't stop our boys from working their game. the score went 1-1, then 2-1, then 3-1, then 4-1, then 5-1. it was utterly and completely high, the crowd cheering and cheering and screaming on end while the rj supporters went "fight on RJ fight on". indeed, they HAD TO fight on and fight hard struggling to keep up with our boys. The councilors and supporters kept going on, cheer after cheer until our voices went hoarse(my hand blistered from all that drumming, while muslim's right arm completely stiffened)in our delight and relief knowing that the match was ours to keep.

But that bastard motherfucking cheebye referee had to stop the match, 3 minutes before game end, because there was a thunderstorm. Come on, like both teams been playing in the rain for the past 20 minutes or so already can. As if that wasnt bad enough, after all that waiting for the storm to let up, the bastard motherfuckig cheebye referee called off the game to be rescheduled, starting from scratch at 0-0. ARGH! can that fucked up bastard motherfucking cheebye referee not comprehend that there is no way RJ can possibly catch up, and that a rematch at 0-0 is completely unfair after all the effort our boys had put in. FUCK YOU bastard motherfucking cheebye referee, for being such an biased asshole.

Nonetheless, although the weather(and the bastard motherfucking cheebye referee) was on your side, we will win the rematch against RJ and prove to you people that indeed you should just stick to mugging for your bloody S-papers and not harbor hopes of winning the A'D soccer tournament. So don't cheer so loudly and desperately when the match was halted, cause you won't win the next round. After all, you lost to us at semis same place last year, which happens to be the old raffles institution,mind you, and lost to us yesterday 5-1 again. just wait and see. As for the bastard mothterfucking cheebye referee, you can go fuck your entire bastard motherfucking cheebye family's black asses and rot in hell.

mj boleh, and the rest can die.

joie de vivre II

2006-04-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

alright people, here's an advertisement on my dead blog to make yurself free on the 19th of may, friday for mjc's band concert yeah.

event: joie de vivre II

venue: victoria concert hall

time: 7pm till 10pm?

tickets going at $10 each

the repertoire's kinda heavy, but nonetheless still nice. there's the phantom of the opera, les miserables, noah's ark, american grafitti XV, carmen fantasy, backdraft, princess mononoke, john william's symphonic suite, jericho, slavonic dances and dancing in the wind. oh and on top of that, we're playing britney spears greatest hits! (no its just stupid lard's own joke)

so make yurself free on that day alright..

and camilia, if yu don't want it to be another10277.5 days before yu see me then come down to joie de vivre II k. i want yu guys to be there..haha.

alright thats all from me((:

orgasm-inducing chocolates

2006-04-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

having been in the whole fondue craze, sarah,while trying to prove that she's a better cook than changjin, tried it at home and made frozen chocolate coated fruits to pass to me today..haha. while i still don't think she's a better cook than changjin cuz the modern secret to good taste belies in the components of chicken stock cubes and msg, the chocolate fruits were simply a god-sent orgasmic experience!!haha. trust me to it, cuz i love and know my chocolate well enough to tell whether its good. rich, smooth milk chocolate accented with a hint of dark chocolate coating strawberries and bananas. seriously, i prefer the bananas, firstly cuz its sweeter and has a higher meltability in your mouth, and also as strawberries are too overrated.
the best thing was everyone one agreed too - yijun,lard,elaine, sooks, paulina, zhengyi and the rest. (eh chengxin better make it up for eating so many of them la).
sarah, i think yu overdid yurself again. its better than what i thought yu're capable of..haha. but still, i think yur valentine's day truffle pie is ultimate la. anyone would want to marry yu after trying that orgasm-inducing pie..haha.
ok enough rattling about chocolates already, off to study now((:

itsassimpleasthis

2006-04-11T03:25:00.000+08:00

its as simple as this.
everything's going awry in my life and im getting sick and tired of it now.
heck council (im sick of it),
in terms of academia my results have been anything but good, even mediocre. i've been flooring the bottom and no doubt its a lack on my part in putting in effort and effect the wheels of change, how can you when you're so tired yu fall asleep eating dinner? i just cant find the time amidst the fatigue and mental exhaustion.
and if my priorities are not in place, then i dont know what is. sometimes its so hard i can barely breathe - suffocating under all the pressure and expectations and yes. sometimes i drown. but you dont see that. i just wish you would understand, not all the time, but just sometimes, that its hard on my part. aye.
i guess its right to say that people Do come in packages, and its hard to change that about someone. live with it, or dont at all, cuz i dont believe in changing yourself to suit another's fancy. but i do that, and slowly, perhaps already now, im different and changed. ive tried and apparently its still inadequate, so tell me what to do from now. let your unpredictable,erratic mood swings tell me what to do from now.

its as simple as this.
everything's going awry in my life and im getting sick and tired of it now.
let me breathe again.

ah lian one to ten

2005-11-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

yu know how ah lians are typically stereotyped byt eh masses, for talking too loud and being to chor-lor (un-feminine)? haha, well this photo entry will further enhance that stereotype! haha..
van, bai and i were trying to encapture the typical scenario yu'd find inside a neo-print shop-narcissist galore! where ah lians pose with their silly hand gestures to act cute..we've coined it ah lian one to ten to make it even more silly! haha.. enjoy guys!

one..

two..

three..

four..

five..

six..

seven..

eight..

nine..

ten!!

haha..we're not the best photo models but i hope the import remains. =) ah lians are retarded!

PROMOS NO MORE

2005-10-14T18:16:00.000+08:00

naturally after suffering from post-dance symptoms and promo stress i didnt attend school today,and slept in the whole morning.the feeling's superb, and i feel recharged,rested and mentally well- again.Ignoring the fact that many a kiasu j1 college student devoted hourless nights and energy into mugging,seemingly with nothing remotely interesting in their lives,much has happened;and this entry,though long, will chronicle occurences in my life, backwards, as far as my goldfish memory permits.

today was the j2 farewell assembly, and was our official valediction to our seniors who have, in the past year, been absolute,outrageous fun and invoked much gaiety into our life. its sad, but inadvertently everyone of us will part on our individual paths after college; to pursue and make real our passions in life. Time sure sped past us and before we could even stop to ponder its been 10months - a hell of an 10months i might add. we've come a long way,especially with the seniors and the least i could do is wish all the j2s the best of luck for the As. Keep the passion alive and as benny's nickname goes.
"time is a fixed factor.let determination be your variable factor"
remember always, invictus, and yu will do it!

meanwhile, we had a first atp meet [dubbed tribal council] today at macs where everyone was present to officially include paulina and tsz yan.the two of them have been inevitably an integral part of us, such that we've become wont to have this two madwomen around us, who are affectionately known as [ah lian] n [ah huay], [paya lebar airport] n [changi airport] *for having runway-like boobs (if any)*haha, [pork] and [da lu mei]*(china girl) etc etc respectively. indeed,they are eccentric,yet so heartwarmingly cute that we couldnt help but include them in our little congregation of bitchy annoying and happyphilic band members coined atp. haha.. welcome paulina and tszyan - atp now has 7 guys,3girls,and two crazy baboons. =)

yours truly

atp pioneers

fabian+kinlok+kenny+donovon+xuanwei+zhengyi+yosua+huikoon+sarah+sookun

so promos have ended and interhouse games began,much to the delight of many cuz half the cohort ran off out of college for their own little shopping fracas in town and the escapades in the various ""golden village"s around our green city, instead of staying in school and playing interhouse games.haha..nonetheless, there were an equally significant number who hung around and played games,resulting in a mass production of red, sun-burnt,suckling pig looking people. it definitely was hell of a break for people like me who have a propensity to procrastinate and thus mug last minute for promos,incurring high stress levels, and a much deserved break for many of the freaks yu can easily find in our college.. people who literally swallow their le chatelier's principle and who are by now, great friends with avogadro,boyle,charles and darlton, people who perpetually vomit krebs and calvins in cycles and who know victor frankenstein,mina murray and emily st aubert like siblings.

anyway, geeks aside, my class and i took part in the dance competition n boy, was it a breeze, to think iwas even worried that we might embarrass ourselves given the short period of one day to learn and rehearsh.i dont mean to be all chitty-chitty-bang-bang arrogant but i didnt even feel competed against. the other 3 groups were,well, a baffoonery laugh worth that of "just for laughs" with reference to a particular stint which,unsurprisingly, got the whole crowd roaring, and when i said roaring, i meant meridians rolling off their seats, tears leaking,mouths so overly stretched with booming,hysterical laughter that the hall almost seemed like a rowdy russel peters crowd. seriously, if there was an audience response criteria in the competition, us adrenaline pumping 206-ians would have been upstaged by a half-cartwheeling,spectacle-losing, jerky(or perhaps dancing) king. heh. i know its mean, but seriously, it was totally uncalled for,to make a complete ding-dong out of yurself by participating. but thanks to the other participants, the 206-cum-miranda crew stand a better chance at winning the competition. The adrenaline rush and positive, extremely flattering reviews was well worth the physical agony and strain put into prepping for it. everybody lose control !

perhaps the highlight of times of late have been the hoo-hah of the now-over promotional exams. i was treading on paper-thin ice starting revision so late due to other commitments like council, which unavoidably took up time like a sponge in water. i swear it was a tantalizingly agonizing period,having the prospect of promoting so near yet so far,with the many chapters of chemistry uncovered,unpracticed math, unread novels and weak biological foundation still there 2weeks before our death was determined on mj-brand examination papers.nevertheless torment''s over, and my target of a double Alevel pass in biology and literature to cover my lack in arithmetic and chemical aptitude seems to be able to materialize. hopefully i'll be able to promote and from there i swear to god i'll give up anything for the cert that would determine my future in this monotonous,Singaporean education system that unfailingly produce a ,mass of talentless braindeads each year.how bleak can life get?my morbid take in life can be attributed,once again, to the many college mugger minions present in mjc to make the school all the more loser,and nerdified than it already is.thanks to those who studied religiously like some aphid feeding on a plant waay before the promos were near.

i shant become all melancholic and grief-striken now that exams are over, but rather enjoy myself especially since i gave up and rejected bithday celebrations to spend the day with my math notes. bahh... i shall indulge and spend time away from college life *life is ironic cuz life in college isnt any life at all, come to think abt it** yoga tmr morning with jooting,which i will, given my chubby,hopeless physique,contort myself into a ball of lard like huikoon *yes,she is lardy! psst,infer a personal attack for calling my flabby hk!*.but im sure i'll enjoy my first and probably last yoga lesson in my life.can yu imagine twisting and fluidizing yur body into positions coined after animals? zzz, might as well go pig out at the chocolate buffet at fullerton, which, after i've gone with sarah, will review here, if i wasnt already overwhelmed by the aphrodisiac effects and raped sarah. then i'll be writing out of my cell for statutory rape..haha. **sarah, be careful before yu decide to go with me!* haha

its great to be awake at such unearthly timing not studying at the airport with sarah n adeline, but my eyelids have drawn close one to many times and incoherence in writing is building,and for i have a yoga lesson, vj open house and a roller blading escapade to attend to tomorrow, and i need sufficient rest to last the whole day without dumplings for eyes and a haggard demeanor slugging around vjc.sorry,for i didnt complete the chronicle(if any), but i shall abstain from my blogging hiatus and deliver another entry tmr, if im not already worn out and dead in east coast park. haha..

ahhhhh...life has regained its beauty =)

2005-08-22T22:50:00.000+08:00

updating
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!!!!!!!!!!! U P D A T E D !!!!!!!!!!

ok i was just being ANNOYING, but yeah. im so sorry people. been extremely busy and havent really had the time to sit down and update. im like a fly trying to keep away from shit, but yeah, i'll come back eventually alright? anyway i've got to go back to studying for chem test + prepping for shakespeare presentation tmr + find and copy all the assignments for my chinese file + finish my eom + do my share of the written report + do my council work for prom + do math integration tutorial. and i've got the bloody gp test tmr which could've been next week! aye..

and my left eye hurts.. was showering just now and the shower foam went into my eye, now its swollen like a testicle. yeck. all the soap suds inside my eye. pain.

anyway im not gonna sleep much tonight, whats new eh. my ticket to concentration tmr i a small bottle of essence of chicken, which i will take for the second time in my life.. haha. the last time i took it was in primary 2, after bugging my mom to buy it i drank and puked. jope it actually works tmr morning. but ahh, if i opuke then maybe i dont have to go to school?!?! C:

alright i gotta get ack to work. shall update ASAP when i can alright. thanks for all the concern and tags to bug me to update.

disturbed

2005-07-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

why do i bother what people think of me?

why do i even go around asking people how they are

when they dont give a damn?

why the hell do i get disturbed by what my friends say?

if they fucking hell are friends in the first place.

come to think of it, why do i fucking care?

i want my siglap friends.

i want stef min and cam.

i hate my life.

this sucks. everything sucks.

my results are pathetic

and it isnt helping that im falling behind my peers again

ive seen my ct.

goodbye chem, im probably dropping yu

to become some weird combi freak

bio.lit.math

who the fucking hell takes that?

losing hope.

losing my faith in the people around me in mj.

so much for friendship

i wanna run away from it all

im not ok.

nothing's ok.

keep up with my facade

i think im a pretty decent actor come to think of it

hahaha..

yes people, hahaha.

all yu damned shitheads can go fuck yur freaking god that probably doesnt exist[the bunch of yu]

thanks to those who truly cared[whether or not i know it]

especially my siglap pals and a named few from mbs

plus those in mjcsb - six of yu[pathetic number after 6mths odd],

but thanks anyway.really REALLY appreciate it.

then again im not a good judge of character,

so i may be wrong about yu huh.

eat my shit.

[ this sure is angsty,quite a shocking entry after i finished typing,but i had to let it out.]

tribute..the siglapians

2005-07-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

this is a small tribute to the friends and people i have in my life.thank yu for being a part of me.i love yu all!!!!

SIGLAPIANS.

ema dearie and me in charles' room.[i painted his room btw,nice retro huh]. ema,i love yu more than any of those guys in yur life,haha.yu're my bitch always n thanks for moulding me into the person i am today. kisses

cheryl.peishi and i[in charles' room again] yu guys are the closest i had in 4G so thank yu for all the most precious memories and teaching me the meaning of friendship,including many late night suppers n drinking sessions.keong, this is what yu get for playing mahjong.yu shud be in this photo!!love yu three.

the funnest memories ever.the wacky,deranged yet most beautiful souls i've ever met.shah,charles,chin;siti,adibah,adrena,dan,jiaxin[left-right-left]. step model shots at esplanade! seeing this photo makes me smile like an idiot!!

the best friend i ever had in siglap.my pillar of strength,my source of motivation,my confidante and definitely life partner as a friend.yu'll always have me and i yu yeah.we've share a friendship many can only dream of and i really am thankful for it. yur presence in my life mean the world to me and i love yu SOOOmuch!! kisses.

the troops at e airport sending ms wee off.i love my siglapians.people see us as a mattified and minah-fied malay colony of hopeless junk.i see yu guys thru sugar coated eyes,as the sweetest people i've ever met in my 17 years. yu guys are emblazoned in my heart permanently.

suzie,rahman,elfi liya n i at sentosa.to suzie n liya,shopping was always fun w two madwomen,but yu guys are more than that to me. both of yu are the ultimate sluts +me! -bitching and camera whoring! besides, the friendship we've made in siglap is defintiely the beginning of a very beautiful journey for us. mann and elfi, thanks for all the guy bonding esp mann-yu are defintely a great friend!elfi,i miss yur perky ass!

jooting and i.yu've given me more memories than my computer can store man.we've been thru alot, and our friendship will definitely grow and deepen as time passes.i miss yur crapping and yur laughter man[the female version of mine-that hysterical LOUD laughter..]take care and see yu soon!

claire!!!! saxtion mates for 4 years,out of which we were besties for 4years eh.not bad.our friendship has had its fair share of ups and downs,but it only emerged from every dispute stronger and carries with it more meaning than many other friendships we have.im glad i met yu and i will not let yu escape from me!!love yu always!!

gay brother!!hehe...yu've taught me alot and helped me improve my flaws.yu defintely are one of the closest to my heart and i cherish this friendship so much.always dependable and cheeky eh[slightly horny too]..shall go chiong one day k? love ya willie!

me+ervia+silvia.silvia ilove yu like shit!come back from sydney soon so i can hug yu and we can all hang out again!miss yu truckloads!

to julie,the one person i loved so dearly for the longest time.we may not be together anymore,but the memories of the bliss and journey of our gorgeous relationship will stay always.i've learnt so much from us and looking back,i can only smile and say that i've loved yu,and will continue loving yu,to keep yu in my heart locked away in one corner.thanks for the best experience hunn.kisses

mdm su, my mother,my friend, my teacher.she made studying so much more meaningful when i was at my lowest, she pushed me on when i was at my peak,and thru out the two years as form teacher she has given endless love and support.THANK YU MDM SU!!!!!

and of course those who i also miss dearly but do not have a photo of us togther..
beatrice,nurul,mdm gill,mrs rajan,liying and all the otheres i didnt mention...the siglapian days were the bestest bestest of my life and i'll never forget them- good or bad. cheerios!

2005-07-13T16:34:00.000+08:00

im defintely feeling much better as compared to the last entry already.perhaps there are more people around me who care than i expected, although i realise that the concern is usually prompted by a dismal countenance on my part, and not exactly genuine concern on their part. but nevertheless i thank everyone for their concern. ((: made my day, defintiely.

all my life i've been trying to find comfort and strength from the friends that revolve around me. all the way from my primary school years in maha bodhi, in siglap and now, in mj. i've relied heavily on my friends, whom i treasure above anything else in my life, and am eternally grateful for all that yu've given me.

but as much as i cherish their existence and prescence in my life, though, i feel that whats really most important is myself. yes, we do need someone to look up to, someone to confide in and perhaps someone whose shoulder we can cry upon. Some turn to god and faith in a religion for strength, others, family for comfort and support. but ultimately, if we cant rely on ourselves and stand on our own two feet in times yu feel yu need someone the most, then perhaps we are too dependent on others.

i've ventured out from that ""i need someone no matter where i go"" phase and have learnt to appreciate the times i've spent alone with myself. There's nothing more important than standing on one's own feet and being self-reliant. To be able to find strength in himself and to pick himself up after a fall. That is, after all, how we learn, ain't it?

i believe the children are our future

teach them well and let them lead the way

show them all the beauty they possess inside

give them a sense of pride

to make it easier

let the children's laughter

remind us how we used to be

everybody's searching for a hero

people need someone to look up to

i never found anyone who fulfilled my needs

a lonely place to be

and so i learnt to depend on me

i decided long ago

never to walk in anyone's shadow

if i fail, if i succeed

at least i'll live if i belive

no matter what they take from me

they cant take away my dignity

because the greatest love of all

is happeneing to me

i found the greatest love of all

inside of me

the greatest love of all

is easy to achieve

learning to love yurself

it is the greatest love of all

and if i chance that special place

that yu've been dreaming of

(that) leads yu to a lonely place

find yur strength in love

-whitney houston>Greatest Love of All

damnation

2005-07-11T19:38:00.000+08:00

major blow

The mid year results are out as of this week

and i dont have to be a genius to know that i've done very badly.

F for chem, 29%

F for math, 3.75%

D for bio, 52.4%

im guessing i got an E for lit,cuz thats what im scored for shakespeare paper. 46%

a B3 for GP n E8 for chinese.but these arent my Alevel subjects,so it doesnt really count, does it?

im not gonna bitch about how strict the marking scheme is or how much of a bitch adeline neo was during lecture, cuz seriously,

we all reap what we sow, dont we?

and after all, there no point crying over spilt milk.

but somehow i walk away from this experience feeling empty

yes, i've learnt

i know that i have to buck up and to really get down to business when it comes to studies

to not procrastinate nor stand around and whine about it like how i always do.

but i feel hollow,empty,meaningless

i think i lost my spark, my drive in life to be optimistic and pick myself up after every fall

i think i lost the way i used to see life, to enjoy it and look on the bright side despite all the downs and failures i suffer

i think i see no joy in doing what i used to enjoy doing.

everything becomes a monotony

everything becomes meaningless .

sigh

but im tryin.at least now im studying and doing my tutorials

although i feel like im being forced to.

im defintely not enjoying it,but do i have a choice?

i chose the Alevels path and damned science course myself,

and have no one else to blame for this state except myself huh.

k im not making sense

studying sucks

im starting to hate school

and everything around me

i hope its just a passing phase.

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

felicity

2005-07-06T18:52:00.000+08:00

i had an extremely fantastic time just now, although i was just hanging out at the airport and eating seafood at simei..haha. it was super. I FINALLY GOT TO SEE CHARLES AGAIN after so long!!! my god, when i got the msg from the cute but stupid adrena during gp lesson today, i nearly jumped outta my seat. i was, say, hysterical? haha. i was absolutely delighted and thrilled!! smiles...

CHARLES>> WE MISSED YU SOOO MUCH!!!!

the last time we saw him was at the airport when we sent him off to melbourne 4months ago. it sure was a disconsolate and joyless moment then, and everyone was saying goodbyes and trying to smile as we held the tears back.but when he was finally going to leave,i think everyone just couldnt control their tears.even charles(who wants to be the epitome of macho-ism), the CHARLES who never cried, teared as he was about to pass the departure gates. i remember all of us still standing there even after he had gone out of sight 5 minutes later, speechless as we suffered the final blow that reality threw in our face. the fact that charles had indeed left and that we wont see him again(at least not anytime soon), before degenerating into a pile of sobs and tears.. it sure was a sight to behold..a mass crying session. haha.even i needed a couple of kleenex.

on the contrary, today we were amazingly happy, especially after we found out that charles was coming back to our little island for a week or two. i mean, we were elated and so energized that we were like a couple of hyperactive kids who'd taken drugs prancing aroung the arrival hall. haha. yes, all five of us - adibah,siti, chinfu,adrena and i. its was really ecstacy.when we met we just hugged and were making so much noise we started to draw attention and weird glares from the other people at the airport.jumping and squealing like a bunch of baby chimpanzees in an urban zoo. but i mean we cant help it, can we.after all, we havent met for the longest time,let alone have a great friend come back to visit us.

so while we were snapping a few narcisistic shots of ourselves quite unabashedly in front of all the glaring eyes, charles called .siti screamed and everyone broke into a symphony of "oohs and "ahhs and ""i want to talk to hims and admist all the scrambling to grab the phone and yelling "imiss yu!!, i realised that EVERYONE else were staring at us.. and adibah said ""its like we're behaving as if no one's here, but who cares!"or something of that sort. i mean.for a moment i was ashamed for being such a boisterous shithead,but after she said that, i couldnt care less and reverted back to usual pile of noisy flesh and exagerated arm-flailing actions. its not like we ever cared about how other people saw us in the past anyway.

after he hung up the phone, we stood by the glass pane and stared and squinted past it, scrutinising every single soul that came out from the corner of belt16 to see if it was charles. siti mistook a cleaner for charles(which was spastic,as usual), while the rest of us nearly died of anticipation. we fidgeted as we made subtle utterances in our excitement (what a difference eh?) and when we finally saw him(in his triple layer outfit - all variations of white), the 5 of us erupted into another frenzy.when he finally walked past those glass doors siti and adibah rushed to him and hugged him,while chinfu remarked "eh yur hair very ugly la"". haha. it was funny..and oh. he was with rosna btw(his mom).when it came to me, we did our usual little handshake and smiled, both knowing that the happiness to see each other was mutual..immediately after we burst out into question after question,all thrown at him like a firing squad.although it was a bit over-the-tops, i found what felicity was.

the great bliss and happiness one would experience when with the closest people to him. especially for me since i havent seen them all for such a long time, felicity. it really was high. i mean, just standing there and talking, catching up and crapping around..it really was a moment i would like to keep forever. i could never have felt happier.serious..it was such a stark contrast to the feelings i experience in mj.yes i laugh and enjoy myself around the company of all my new-found friends.but somehow, it aint the same and i felt this elation for the first time in a long time. man, it was such a kodak moment, so yeah, we took a couple more shots.

we headed back to modena(charles' place) after that and dumped his luggage there before leaving to eat somewhere across the street in simei. oh ya, his sister kept harping about how i was so cute, it was kinda freaky and alarming , cuz she did say she was becoming paedophile(like huikoon). haha. am i even that young for her to be a paedophile? well. whatever it was it sure was a nice and ego-boosting compliment although yes, it really did freak me out a little. but heck, she's not gonna rape me or anything.and she knows mr norman chua and some other teacher in mj (her church friends, apparently) and she said she'd ask them to stalk me for her. i bet she was joking, otherwise i'd never step into charles' little 3rd floor condo apartment again.haha

supper was a great way to catch up cuz that was exactly what we did. just sitting around and crapping and eating crabs.sharing all the anecdotes and laughter once again like how we used to in our siglap days. yeah, i've never really realised how much i miss siglap until today,when i was surrounded by all my pals. the memories and insanely wild buffoonery we had in the four amazing years that we were friends came rushing back. i guess we relived those memories in the 1hr odd we spent at supper. and charles, being the lame idiot he is entertained the group as he interjected a couple of not-so-funny jokes and anecdotes here and there.haha. we all still love him despite his extremely cold jokes(some are funny though-i give him credit for that) that never fails to make us go ""eh pai seh sia!!"" to make him feel embarrassed. i guess that's the siglap experience we shared and cherish, and i will definitely keep them for a very long time.

anyway we left the place around 1230 i think and all cabbed home,while reminiscing the freshly created memories.i was smiling all the way home man. i promise i shall try to devote all my time this week to charles and the gang (including ervia,who couldnt make it today, both jiaxin and daniel, who unfortunately were uninformed about charles' return and shahidah,who being the blur sotong she is probably forgot.haha) before charles leaves to return to melbourne again.man i cant wait till dinner tonight when i meet the rest! smiles. i love yu guys man!!

..lovevol..

2005-07-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

maybe its because im lazy or something of that sort, cuz i feel that i need to blog more consistently and not actually clump a couple days worth of energized fun into one entry, cuz then it'll be really lengthy and might become a boring read...but ah heck.thats me eh.

anyway im not gonna blog alot now, cuz as it is im already terribly late for the council outing at eastcoast but this i cant miss.really.this is huge in fact. well, right now i cant even stop smiling.and im smiling so widely i actually look stupid. no names mentioned, but yeah..this is something to pop the champagne for!!!

well, ok so i know this two people who are yu know, really adorable and sweet and nice and all.and now, im just so happy cuz finally the guy managed to come forward and profess how he feels and i think thats really really sweet.it may not be to yu, but then again, they are both relatively close to me and i cant help but feel extremely happy for them **(i think i may be even happier.haha)** well im just glad that things turned out this way.a new couple in the making.*grins widely* and i wish yu guys all the best alryt? (psst,cuz i know yu'll read this)

but this whole issue about relationships and love, yes, seeing their love grow(and hopefully blossom eventually) has made me feel somewhat, kinda hopeful.cuz after all the experiences i've had, most recently one that has left many painful memories, i sorta gave up on relationships (not forever,just right now) and decided to immerse myself amongst my friends and school. yu know, just busy myself and not give space to think about the ""affairs of the heart". but looking at the two of them with their growing relationship, i realised that all this while i've been living in my own void, denying what is reality and running away from what is fundamentally the essence that makes up my purpose of my existence - my emotions. yes, i realised that i've been avoiding all my emotions and trying to live in denial, which probably is one of the reasons why i have been feeling so empty all this while.

cuz all this while i missed yu and yeah, a part of yu is still in me..all this while i was resisting anything new in my life, cuz i couldnt get over yu, but at the same time, i knew that it was over between us.

all this while i have been living in a world where i thought, perhaps, if i ran away it wouldnt be as painful as it is.but apparently not, everywhere i go memories resurface and the past just comes rushing back so fast yu feel a sudden spectrum of emotions - negative. the misery and all the ifs. but all these negative things come back with all the most beautiful memories that we've created.

but somehow i realise that we cant revert the things that've happened, the mistakes we made, and most of all relive the times we shared. so i bid my farewell to this beautiful and wonderful set of memories that we've created and closed, as i take away this dejected feeling and lost affection and put back that smile i had 10minutes ago.

yes, back to where i was. i wish yu guys,both of yu wonderful amazing friends, all the best as yu create yur own set of beautiful memories which im pretty sure will last a long time (as i told yu ______, i have a good feeling about this.haha). and to my own, i say a perenial goodbye, much as i dont want to. life has to move on after all. :))

exam blues

2005-07-01T14:04:00.000+08:00

todays a thursday and this spells an upcoming weekend of more zest than my usual standards since my entry into mj.apart from the post-exam indulgence that everyone deserves,i must take a break to let loose the old me that detests mugging.

well exams are out, and everyone feels this immense liberation from all the stress and anxiety of mugging.but somehow, i cant help but have this extremely negative feeling about the whole "after exams" elation. i mean, no doubt im glad i no longer have to sit through a gruelling 21/2 hours trying to figure out ridiculously tough questions, but there's this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach that resurges everytime i think about the kind of grades that'd come out.

the exams were bad.bad beyond imagination.maybe i didnt study hard enough,but still, it was a horrifying experience sitting at yur desk and realising yu're just about as smart as the fighting fish that flares up everytime it sees its reflection.serious. so here i am,going to bitch about the freaking exams,but definitely not gonna feel any better about it thereafter. so here goes...

i think i had been quite a pain in chinese lessons, being so amazingly slow in the language.and i dont see why not. i couldnt understand the chinese paper! damnit its like a whole new language come to think about it. i didnt know what the shit the compre was harping about.it doesnt help that i randomly threw in numbers for the close passage either. i left the vocab section blank, and i sure hope i didnt interpret the compo question wrongly (after all, it was the only question i could very vaguely understand,so i wasnt left with any other options). oh and just to add, when i took the orals smwhere before the semester break, ms chen started to snigger when i read the passage,which, when translated to words would be, "why does he speak like a pre-school kid?boy,i bet my nephew can speak better chinese than that." perhaps the next time i should just tear her scalp when she mispronounces fabian again.

i crammed like shit for bio too.all the kreb's cycle and allosteric inhibiton only to attempt a paper that was beyond my intellectual capability.ok, so i wasnt exactly well prepped and i sure didnt memorize cover to cover for bio, but its my best subject!!!ohmygod.i felt crushed.but then again,what can i do?im not fantastically smart like the RJ elitists,and neither have i the mental stamina to study long hours,but at least let me feel the satisfaction of walking out of the exam hall thinking i could pass.now i worry how bad the F would be.

chem and math was just depressing,if not unimaginably oppressive. if i could get anything worse than an F for both,i WOULD.like a -Z grade and a meeting with esther lai. chem was pure faeces, with the nasty bits of undigested chow all around.haha. my only consolation's that it was shit for everyone else too (or so i think). and math, oh boy math, like what is math?someone enlighten me.haha. i swear i didnt know what the hell the questions were asking (well, at least i could figure what topic each question belonged to). i did, like part(i) of 3Dtrigo and drew the graphs for 11(b).apart from that, my script was blank.blank,perhaps flawless in fact.haha.then i went to sleep slightly before an hour was up and continued for about another hour plus..man i felt guilty,but then again.whats the point?i struggled with amath throughout my siglap days.report cards littered with F9s after F9s.only managing to clinch an E8 for prelims(and i was thrilled then.haha). how i got a B3 for Os is still a mystery and purely sheer luck(which obviously didnt last looking at my grades now).

my only faith and assurance in this semestral exams is lit. although there is this huge HUGE possibility that i probably went outta point for unseen and gothic.after all, it IS my first lit exam cuz stupid siglap does not offer lit(or triple science for that matter). and not to mention the very frantically written shakespeare essay on Lear. i did both essays very haphazardly in an hour-only to find out 10mins before the paper ended that i only had to do one!! ONE!!i felt dumb,for once-completely hopeless(cuz i cant even do lit after that insane math torture).haha. but argh heck, the papers are over now.

so yes,reality struck a really solid blow to me cuz of the exams.and i learnt something new-get used to it, yu're in mj for god's sake!! (FYI:: Jc with the highest retainee rate). and yes,also to study harder and cultivate more pimples on my once flawless countenance.hello sleepless nights.goodbye life.

testing

2005-06-30T04:50:00.000+08:00

lalalalala.nonsensical randoms.sukoon's retarded.benny's farnie!!huikoon's justinfied.justin contracted Acquired Huikoon Deficiency Syndrome(AHS).yijun sings like a goddess.atikah's spastic.kinlok's gay.kenny dates his mom.zhengyi's nicenicenice.sarah's nicernicernicer.weejuay's old.tim's weird.christine's insane.elaine's superSLOW.kim's cute.kenneth's wrong.zhikai's wronger.estee's fair.soph has nice gray contacts.Su has1000nicknames(latest=sujiyama).Ervia's the bestest friend.willie's gay too(shud meet kinlok).ema's mybitch.cherylpeishikeong ROcks!!
ok lets see if this works.